This life

Am I Awake?

"Sorry I didn't mean to run into you too.." I state completely embarrassed.

"It's okay." He smiles back at me reassuringly.

After helping each other pick our books up I apologize again. And he introduces himself and I stutter trying to introduce myself. "God.. He's so perfect." I think to myself. His name is Sean. He's popular, the best percussionist in the band, plays football, and he's that guy that every girl wishes they could have. Also the type of guy I could never in a million years get. I wonder why he's being so nice to me.

I'm extremely nervous. My hands are shaking. I grip my binder till my knuckles turn white. Hoping that he won't see me shaking. He stares at me for a few minutes. His eyes look so kind and gentle. I envy the girl he's dating so much. In that moment I hate my life. I break our state and walk back to my locker. As soon as I start to walk away I hate the decision I had just made. I wanted to look at him just a little bit longer.

At lunch I sat alone. Again. As I started to eat my sandwich with cheese and bread you'll never believe who comes to the table where I sit and asks to sit by me.. Sean does. "Can I sit here?" He asks with a bright smile plastered on his face. "Sure. It doesn't seem like anyone else will. So knock yourself out." I say back. I'm getting really nervous. As he sits down his knee brushes mine and I get chills down my back and my heart is beating so fast I think it might explode.

Sean smiles at me before he starts to eat. I smile back and in my daze I don't realize that I'm thinking out loud. "Wow..his smile.." I say out loud. He laughs at me. My cheeks flush so red I think probably darker than a tomato. I get up to rush off. So embarrassed I think I might pass out. But as I go to leave he follows me. He grabs my arm. "Wait" he says quite loud apparently because everyone turns and stares at us.

"If I had a girlfriend I might be a little more concerned with your remark to my smile. But since I don't thank you. And I was wondering if you had a phone number I could reach you on sometime?" He announces infront of everyone. "Me?..um..yeah. 254-1176" I say to him. He writes it on his hand. And I rush out of the cafeteria. I go to the bathroom and sit in the stahl and just think. "I can't believe I just gave him my phone number! I can't believe I just did that.. what if he's a creep. God Anna use your head! what if he's just going to use you and humiliate you! cause you sure don't need anymore of that." Then the bell rings. And I make my way to health.