A monk and his love

Love letter seven

Tashi Delek, Yeshe, my beloved

During our lifetime, I remember that you mentioned that your monks were creating a sand mandala. I have heard of these but never really saw one being created or finished. Then are remember you and I were loving making and that you said "get dressed and come my beloved flower... I have some thing to show you darling,". So I got my raggity robes on and follows you to see that start of the mandala. I sat on your lap, put your boney face next to my beautiful face and embraced me then gently put your hand in my robe decretly so no one would notice and felt my chest up for most of the day. I didn't know what was the more beautiful you or the sand mandala being created. This went on, watching the mandala be created and curessing each other. When it was do I was surprised at how beautiful it was then it being swepted away. That was the upsetting part then you said, "the Buddha said that weather positive or evil, everything is impermenrent," but you held my chin as if it was the most delicate thing on the planet and continued, " but not my love for you nor your love for me....we are as impermanent as the stars." We kissed and I felt that I experienced two beautiful things...the creating and destruction of a mandala and his love. That night I tried to look as sensual and beautiful as I could and hid in your bed. Then you walked in and about to take your robes off. I threw off the covers and told you not to undress and that I wanted make love in our clothes and not to put out the candles. I want to see the thankas glowly eeriely in his chamber when we made out and feeling each other up. Then you started licking my neck and ears and whispered "this tounge can do many things in mystical ways and places."  You proceeded to kiss me on my body again and I lifted my raggity skirt and invited you to you kiss and your "magic" on my being.  You were too busy to making love to me that you did not notice a pair of eyes staring into your chambers peeping in our love making.  I thought that you were going to be in trouble some how.  I alerted you and you grabbed the peeper, it was a young one, you took slapped him and walked him to me for an apology. Never seen my beloved so agressive nor angry.  You were usually so gentle and compassionate. Especially with the young ones. I was afraid for the boy and my sake.  You told me "I am sorry if you saw that my love, but that kid's a fucking tattletale!" Never heard you swear. I was so afraid I ran in tears and I slept in the main hall in the cold. My wonder was still to this new life if the kid heard and saw everything.