Once Upon A Princess

29: Midnight Secrets

A knock at the door summoned Castiel away from his thoughts. He'd been shuffling the papers on his desk absently, mind so far away that it frayed at the edges as soon as he was sharpened to reality. He hadn't been thinking of anything, not really. Parties did this to him. Especially ones where he was the center of attention, and announcing his intent to marry. He almost sighed again thinking of it, just earlier. He'd retreated to his office in the late hour just to sit by himself.

The door opened before Castiel said anything. His office didn't have a fireplace, so the only lighting provided was the lantern at his desk. The face was obscured in darkness, but Castiel could tell immediately who it was by the way he held himself: the slumped shoulders, angled face, meek demeanor.

"Edward," he breathed out, the name sitting longer on his tongue than necessary.

The boy named Edward approached the desk and got more bold with every step. In his public life, he was meek, eager to please, a perfect subject and servant. Here, in the privacy of the office, he became more of his true self. His shoulders straightened, and then he came into the hazy glow of the candlelight. He was Avenorian by birth, so his skin was pale. He was tall and slender, with frail-looking hands and features. His face was almost elven, with sharp and small angles. The point of his chin, the plates of his cheekbones, the perks of his ears that just hid behind his straight blonde hair. His thin mouth was set into a tight line.

Castiel frowned. "What's the matter?"

It was strange that Edward looked so angry in the first place, but the fact he didn't come over to kneel by him was even stranger. Even upset, Edward liked to be close.

"You're actually going through with it," Edward choked out. It seemed the anger was a thin veil shrouding sadness.

Castiel stood. "Edward, I—"

"I know," he cut him off. "I know. It just... hurts worse to hear it than to imagine."

Castiel went to move, but Edward stopped him with a raised hand. Instead he pulled the small wooden chair from the front of the desk and moved it around to sit next to Castiel. As soon as the prince sat down, Edward seemed to relax. His eyes closed, eyelashes feathering down over his cheekbones. Castiel ached to touch his face, but stayed his hand.

"The test is happening," Edward filled the silence, talking to himself more than anything. "So soon, too."

This time Castiel did touch him, taking one of his hands that were resting on his lap. Edward opened his eyes, shocking dark green looking at Castiel's muddy brown. Castiel had always hated his own eyes; how dull brown was. But Edward's green was vibrant, dancing with blues and violets and golds. He felt as if he was looking into a kaleidoscope every time, a new pattern to analyze and wonder at.

Castiel finally decided to speak. "It was inevitable, and it seemed more painful to string it out. Besides, my parents were putting some pressure on me."

Edward sighed as a way of reply to his explanation. He brought their intertwined hands up to his face, resting his head on it and closing his eyes again. He looked lovely in the pale glow of the candlelight.

"I just want you to know that I'm still here," he finally said. When he opened his eyes, his pupils had blown out, obscuring most of his iris. "I'll always be here for you."

Castiel tried not to feel shocked at the confession, though he knew it was true. He couldn't help bowing his head to hide the new color to his cheeks.

"You don't have to. I couldn't stand watching you suffer with me."

He had just enough time when he raised his head to see Edward's quirked mouth. "You mean watch you marry someone else? And a woman, no less?"

Castiel had to smile. Edward had always said that he'd originally been put off by Castiel because he always looked stormy or stern. But then he'd smiled for the first time and Edward realized how much of Castiel's life was an image of royalty. It was true, too. And now he tended to smile wider when in Edward's presence, if only to keep him around.