The Ones Who Saved Us

Chapter 37

I always found it ironic how Teddy's birthday fell on April 1. April Fools' Day.

Even as an infant and child, he had always had an easygoing and mischievous personality. The two of us got into so much trouble when we were younger because of the shit we would pull on Mom, especially on April Fools' Day. We had painted her car—with watercolors obviously because we didn't have a death wish; we painted her face while she was sleeping; we would sneak into each other's rooms on school nights to read together and then not wake up the next day because of how tired we were from staying up so late. We had a full childhood filled with mischief and love, and not a day passed where we wouldn't be overcome with greats fit of laughter that left our bellies aching.

But everything changed after Mom died. Teddy became more reserved, barely talking unless we were alone or unless someone asked him a question. There were times he would go months without speaking in fear that Damon would retaliate against me if Teddy said the wrong thing. When Damon was home, we would walk on eggshells and stay as quiet as possible, praying that if he didn't hear us, maybe he would forget about us and leave us alone.

Our days of joking and laughing were seemingly put to an end, and our smiles were replaced with melancholic expressions. Living in fear crushes a person's spirit, let alone two grieving children who had no one to rely on but each other. It's proven that those with big smiles live longer, and it truly felt like our lives ended the minute we stopped smiling.

What was the point in living when every minute of your existence was filled with pain and longing for your lost childhood?

It felt like this for so long, even when we first moved to New York to live with our brothers. I couldn't believe that there were people out there who would love me and care for me as much as my family does, so I kept my guard up, perhaps longer than I should have.

Teddy was better than me— more welcoming and open with our brothers—but even his true personality didn't come out until much later. When you're forced to be something you never should've been for so long, you start to believe that there's nothing more to you.

Teddy had taken on the role of being the sweet and kind and nurturing brother. He took care of me when I was too weak from a beating. He held me as I cried because everything felt like too much and I wanted nothing more than for it all to end. And most importantly, he constantly reminded me how he loved me, and as long as he was there, nothing else mattered.

He had lost his carefree personality, his mischief. Those years under Damon's guardianship had caused Teddy to mature far faster than he ever should have, which is why he acted like a young man at the age of nine. That was the effect our trauma had on my little brother. When he should have been acting as my little brother, he started behaving like another parent making sure that I was healthy, well fed, and most importantly, happy.

It wasn't until I was separated from my family for the second time that his true self emerged. He saw how broken and lost I felt sitting in that hospital room after a month of being tortured by Demetri and being forced to watch unspeakable acts done to my father. Teddy felt useless at that time, not being able to help my family hurt those who had hurt me.

Without a proper outlet, he resorted to spending every second of every single day trying to cheer me up and make sure that I was getting better. He would bring books from our childhood; he wrote piano pieces for me; he even learned to do my hair when I was too weak or depressed to do it myself. But the one thing he couldn't succeed in doing was making me smile more than a weak grin, and he made it his mission to succeed in doing so.

He would tell corny jokes that he found off the internet. He would show me videos of people getting hurt that were supposed to make you laugh but made me cringe in horror. He would make silly faces that he hadn't made since he was a mere toddler. Day after day, he would try different methods, and when his birthday started to draw near, he became even more determined to succeed and give himself the one present he craved more than anything.