muke//kissing in the rain

chapter 11

Michael won't talk to me.

It's been a week and a half since we kissed and I can't stop thinking about it. Or him. But he won't return my calls. He should though, because calling people is enough stress for me.

It was by far the greatest moment of my pitiful life. His lips were so soft and he kissed me hard, like he meant it. But if he meant it then why won't he talk to me?

And it hasn't rained all week, so I've been watching black and white films in my mothers bedroom all week, sending endless texts to Michael and eating dry Cheerios. Did I do so,etching wrong? Maybe he thinks I'm a horrible kisser, or maybe he just doesn't like me that way and only kissed me back because he feels bad for me. That's probably it. Why would I even miss him? I mean, I've been in love with the boy ever since I moved here and I've dreamt of his lips but when did I get the courage? Or the nerve?

I craned my neck to get a good view out the window from mums king sized bed. It was a grey, gloomy sky, it would probably rain later tonight. The trees were gently rustling in the breeze, knocking the occasional leaf to the ground. The weather wasn't gross enough for me to go out on my own free will, but I need to talk to Michael. If I don't I'll start talking to the paintings on the wall.

I rolled out of my duvet cocoon I had nested myself in 6 hours ago and began to make myself look somewhat decent to go see Michael.

*******************

Water has soaked in through my old converse, making the rest of the walk to the bookstore quite uncomfortable. But it'll be worth it if I get to see my beautiful green haired angel. I would walk through a million dirty puddles to see his face. To hear him laugh or sing or tell me stupid jokes like he always does.

I watched him through the window. He was smiling and leaning up against a sturdy rack of used books. His vibrant green hair had started to fade a bit,and it was all messily combed back from his face. He was wearing a Metallica muscle shirt wish a pair of ripped jeans. His green eyes always find a way to make the shining city lights look dull.

I placed my sweaty hand on the cool window and let my breath fog up the glass as I swooned at Michael's glorious appearance. I was giggling at the sight of him. It had only been seven days, but that's been seven days too many. I was just about to run in and embrace him and apologize for any wrong doing I had committed, but then something else stepped into view from behind a bookshelf. A she. A she with long black glossy hair. She was wearing a pair of light blue ripped jeans and a ramones crop top. She was holding up a book about the life of kurt cobain.

I suddenly felt extremely self conscious. How could I compare to her. Michael is indeed bisexual, and she is definitely someone he would date. She seems very outgoing, judging by the way they're communicating. I'm not outgoing. Michael would want to date someone he can actually maintain a conversation with.

The bell above the door rings when I enter, interrupting their pow-wow or whatever they're doing, I don't give a fuck. The girl pulls her black shiny hair over her shoulder as she sees me in the doorframe, fuming. She smirks and I disappear from their field of vision behind a tall bookshelf. Peeking out around the corner, I catch another glimpse of them. He folds his arms across his chest, nodding at something she's saying to him. She then leans in and kisses him on the cheek. I shoot up, hitting my head off the book case. Some books then fell out on top of me as I shed across the floor.

When I looked up again, the girl was gone and Michael was sitting at the front desk, eyes facing forward. Though I don't think he knows I can see him flicking his eyes in my direction every few seconds. I quickly stack all the books on a table next to me and warily make my way over to the front desk. Michael re-pricing some Maureen Johnson books, not acknowledging my presence.

I cleared my throat, looking around the store. He just kept re-pricing.

"M-Michael?" I said quietly. He paused momentarily, hen continued doing his work. Jesus, Michael. You know I suck at this, help me out here.

I sat up on the desk, next to Michael's pile of books. He didn't take heed. I looked around the store, thinking about how Michael's parents died. I think he said he lives with his sister. I wonder how their relationship is, I mean, he didn't wanna talk about her when I brought it up. He'll talk about it when he needs to I guess. I won't pressure him to, no matter how much I want to know about him. Because I know what it's like getting harassed to talk when you don't want to. It's not a great feeling.

"She's really pretty. Is she your girlfriend?" I asked, trying sound enthusiastic. He didn't answer. Okay. I swung my legs back and forth, hitting off the desk.

"It's okay if she is I won't be mad. Not that I'd have a reason to, or that you'd need my approval.." I awkwardly laughed and scratched my head.

"Look, about the kiss. I'm sorry, I- I shouldn't have done that. I didn't ask and you didn't want it and it was stupid I mean like I don't Know what came over me. But I don't like how you've been ignoring me. You could've at least told me you were pissed off or that you didn't want to be my friend anymore. I'd be sad, but at least I wouldn't be confused. I'd understand. I just hate being ignored, ya know? So I just came for clarification. I know you don't like me that way, I mean I don't like you that way, but I don't know if you hate me or if you're still mad or even if-" my breath hitched in my throat as I felt Michael's fingertips brush up against my hand. I Turned my head to look at him, but he was staring down at our hands.

I licked my lips and looked anywhere but at Michael. I focused my eyes on small cactus in a pot by the washroom. I felt his hand slip underneath mine and nonchalantly intertwinine our fingers. He fails to realize what he does to me. My heart rate quickens as his thumb lightly traces over my skeletal hand. He looked into my eyes,

"I like you that way, luke."

*****************

Hey yo y'all should follow my Instagram it's muke_sauce
ttyl