Ellis: "This one time, my buddy Keith started up a historic tour, on account of his mom took him to Colonial Williamsburg, and it's like a license to print money at them places. Now you might ask yourself how an honest attempt to recreate the majesty of Colonial times turned into raccoon fights at five bucks a pop in Keith's backyard, ha-ha. Man, the answer to that particular question is that Keith is sharing a place with his two brothers and them being *ssh*l*s who wouldn't let them do it anywhere but the backyard; well, add that to Keith didn't technically have any, y'know, history to put on display, but he did have a whole family of raccoons living in the chassis of an old car and you'd begin to understand."
