Being with Justin by ourselves is really amazing. We rented this huge house with horses in the very inside of San Antonio, Texas. We've been spending a lot of time with nature and taking a break from everything and it's really going well, I don't want this to ever end.
I invited Kendall and her new boyfriend to come over the weekend because I've missed her so much. We haven't seen each other since I took the break from the media and left LA which was about two months ago.
Yesterday me and Justin went to ride horse over the city and then we made ice cream ourselves. It was amazing. Today I made him breakfast because I was in the mood for it, I love to cook for him I guess.
I have been feeling weird lately, I don't really know why, I just hope it's nothing to do with my lupus because my body won't tolerate something like that again. Don't get me wrong, I'm healthy and everything but my body was left weak for another intense treatment like that.
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kendalljenner
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kendalljenner in case you're wondering... they're the best they've ever been.
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—————————— Nicole
"kens I don't really know what's going on. I'm feeling really weird lately. I'm really scared it's something about my lupus you know." I told her worried rubbing my hands through my hair. "I'm sure it's not, what do you feel?" She said in a serious tone. "I feel nauseous like all the time and that's pretty much it til now." I sighed.
"When was your last period?" Kendall asked awakening some curiosity within me. "About a month ago, why?" I asked confused. "Have you and justin, by any chance, had sex?" She asked. "Yeah we had. I mean it's a normal thing to do between married couples." I said like saying the obvious. "You're pregnant." She said without emotion in her voice.
"What?" I said confused. "Here's a pregnancy test, I felt this would happen, intuition I guess, go take it." She said and I walked into the bathroom. I took the test and had to wait for an answer.
"Kendall this is killing me why isn't the answer popping up?" I said bitting my bottom lip from the nerves I had. "Give it time nik." She said putting one of her arms around my shoulders.
The minutes went by and the answer started to pop up. The answer that I didn't want to see, the answer I was not ready to be. Being a mother is not an easy task, I don't feel capable enough to be one.
"I can't do this kens." I said as the answer popped up on the pregnancy test and tears started to fall from my eyes. "You can do this, you are the most capable, strong, confident and family oriented woman I know. I am sure you're going to rock this nik. You're the best mother this little baby could ever have. And it's normal to be scared, it is, but you'll learn along the way. You'll learn everything about him or her and everything about you." She said pulling me into a hug and giving me so much strength I didn't know I had.
