the person you can't have | chaelisa

For Nothing [24]

Chicha offered to take the wheel to drive Lisa back home. She wasn't in the right state of mind to drive at all, considering how she just stared out of the car's window, nose flaring and her eyes watering with every living second.

It was just too much for her to handle; Loving someone so much, but only for them to leave you in the moment of vulnerability.

Lisa didn't even want to speak about anything. Once she opened her mouth to talk, she knew that she'd be crying. Everything now just revolves around Chaeyoung.

There's no bloody way that life is so cruel is there? Why did it have to be Lisa? There's such a slim possibility that all these cruel things would happen to Lisa, and yet it did.

How was it so accurate? Not even winning the lottery was this accurate.

Chicha had Lisa's possession with her, and she needed to talk to Lisa about it, but seeing her condition now— she couldn't.

It was just silence all the way up the lift to Lisa's apartment too. Her face was tear-stained, and she didn't wish to talk to Chicha about anything. The reason why she was here was to meet Chaeyoung after all.

And she did, through one of the must undesired ways ever.

Lisa unlocked the door and headed straight to couch, falling into the soft cushions. Leo hopped up on the couch beside her and she stroked his head. The Scottish Fold purred and settled on her tummy.

The warmth from his body was so oddly comforting to Lisa, but it didn't fail to remind her of Chaeyoung's hands on her tummy too. How delicately she would trace Lisa's abs with her fingers until she fell asleep— it was all a memory now.

Lisa was destined to be lonely, wasn't she? She can't have anything. Loving someone so much, and yet they'd just leave her behind and move on with life. That happened with Miss Brooks too.

Perhaps she didn't feel so much pain leaving her old Biology teacher was because she had seen her Biology teacher with her boyfriend outside, and of course she'd want to get over Miss Brooks because it was firstly, illegal. And secondly, she didn't want to hurt herself over her teacher.

That's absurd.

But Rosé...

She's different. She's someone that Lisa promised to never get over. Hell, she even wanted to ink Chaeyoung's initial on her body. She wanted to buy so many things to remember her. But would it be worth it?

She was sure that pretty soon she'd see on the news that singer Park Chaeyoung is dating another singer from her company.

How would she feel?

She couldn't feel. She was numb. Every second and moment that she had free, she'd just cry because it felt so empty in her chest— like someone had taken out a part of her. It's just hollow now, a black hole that nobody would be able to fill.

Time wouldn't heal such a big wound like that. Even with stitches, Lisa would pick them open so she'd feel the fresh pain from it all over again.

It was like having an emotional attachment to the pain— you don't want it to go. You want it to stay.

Lisa needed to feel her lungs burn, so she'd stop her eyes from watering non-stop. She didn't even have the energy to study for anything now. She just wanted to cry, cry non-stop, until the whole house is flooded.

She got up and trudged towards her room where Chicha was in and knocked on the open door loudly, "Can I have it back now?"

Her tone was harsh, rough, like she resented every living being in this world. Chicha looked unamused at her, "You still have to tell me why you have it."