Time

August 26, 2013

"I'm sorry about this. I didn't think you'd see it." Harry said.

"Why? What moment is this?" Louis wondered.

The door flew open and their younger selves stormed inside. They were a couple of years older. They weren't making out this time. They were fighting. Louis was staring at him, looking utterly confused. This wasn't one of their happy memories. It was an awful one. A painful, horrible, disastrous one, but Harry had chosen it for a good reason.
"I can't believe it! He said that we could come out and now he changed his fucking mind!" Young Louis shouted. He was furious.

"I know. It sucks but it doesn't change anything." Young Harry replied. He sounded sad and tired.

"It changes everything. I don't want to live like this, hide our relationship. It's too hard!" Young Louis argued.

"What are you saying, Lou?" Young Harry asked worriedly.

Young Louis stopped in the middle of the room. He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair.
"We're so young. It shouldn't have to be like this. Is it worth it?"

Harry flinched behind the couch. Hearing Louis say that, even if it was Louis from the past, hurt like hell because he had recently said something similar. Louis tried to take his hand but he wouldn't let him.

"You don't love me?" Young Harry asked with a trembling voice.

"It's not about that. I don't think I can do this anymore." Young Louis replied.

Behind the couch, Harry tried to breathe. Emotionally he was back in this moment, remembering how he had felt hearing Louis say that. It had destroyed him. Louis clenched his jaw. He hated his younger self for hurting Harry like that.

"You're breaking up with me? Please, Lou, don't!" Young Harry pleaded desperately. He started to cry.

"I'm sorry Harry. I need some time to think. We should take a break." Young Louis said.

"I don't want a fucking break!" Young Harry wailed.

"But I do!" Young Louis retorted. He tried to hug him.

"Don't touch me! Get out of here! I don't want to see you!" Young Harry yelled.

"We're in a band together!" Young Louis answered.

"I wish we weren't! I wish I had never auditioned. I wish I had never met you!" Young Harry screamed.

"You don't mean that!" Young Louis gasped.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" Young Harry yelled.

They heard the door slam. Young Harry was alone. He fell to the floor and curled up in a ball while he cried his heart out. He was crying so hard that he couldn't breathe. Louis tried to get up from behind the couch to run to him but Harry pulled him down and shook his head fiercely. Louis looked absolutely devastated. He stared at Harry with teary eyes. There was a knock on the door and Niall entered.
"Harry? Oh my God. Breathe Harry. What happened? Louis came running into Zayn's room crying. Did you have a fight?"

"H-he b-broke up w-with me." Harry managed to get out between sobs.

"What? Why?" Niall wondered, sounding upset.

They peeked from behind the couch. Young Niall was on the floor hugging young Harry.
"T-too hard. He doesn't love me, Niall! I want to die! Please let me die! I love him so much." Young Harry wailed.

"Oh, Harry. It will get better." Young Niall tried to comfort.

"No, it won't! He's everything!" Young Harry sobbed.

Young Niall just hugged him until he calmed down a little.
"Come on, you're staying with me tonight."

Young Harry didn't protest. He let Niall lead him out of the room. Louis stood up as soon as the door closed. He started to pace back and forth in the room.
"Horrible! Why? I felt bad enough about this and now I had to hear just how much I broke you? How can this be one of your significant moments of our relationship? I destroyed you. How could you even take me back after I did that to you? I'm such an asshole."

"Lou...sit down. Let me explain." Harry said softly.

Louis stopped walking. He let out a deep sigh but took a seat. He looked at Harry, waiting for an explanation.
"Our relationship hasn't just been rainbows and butterflies. We've been through some tough times, usually out of our control. We didn't choose to be closeted, yes, I know that we signed a contract but we were lied to. We thought that it was for a year or so. We were young and naive."

"Yeah." Louis snorted.

"This moment in time is indeed horrible and incredibly sad but it's also when I realized just how much I loved you. Did I wish that it didn't happen? Sure, but a part of me is also grateful for it because we grew stronger because of it. We became closer and I appreciated you even more because I realized just how much you meant to me." Harry tried to explain.

"It wasn't like I broke up with you and just moved on. I was devastated too! I thought you deserved more and I didn't see a way out for us. I loved you just as much, Harry." Louis said with a shaky voice.

"I didn't need more. I just needed you!" Harry replied.

"Yeah? That changed, didn't it?" Louis said, sounding bitter and hurt.

"What are you talking about?" Harry wondered and stared at him in surprise.

"You don't need me anymore." Louis sighed.

"That's fucking bullshit! You're the one who asked for a divorce, remember? Again! I have never broken up with you. That's your thing so don't you dare put this on me!" Harry said with a restrained voice. He was angry.

"That's..." Louis didn't have time to answer before they jumped to another memory and that wasn't the time to have that conversation.