Kerosene ~Zarry~

Chapter 11.

"Mr. Malik," the doctor closes the door behind him before turning toward Zayn. "It's good to see you again." He smiles. It's small, almost sad.

Zayn knows why. He just nods his head back as a hello, shifting I'm his place on the couch and fiddling with his fingers in his lap.

It's his first time back in 3 years. His first time since Alaska died. He didn't want to be here. But he knew it was best for him, and allowed him to be the best for his daughter.

"So," the doctor sits down across from Zayn. "I'm glad you've decided to come in. It's been a while." He says before opening his notebook to a fresh page.

"Yeah uh...I've been busy with Alana. Started a new job." Zayn breaths out.

The doctor nods. "Right. Firefighter," he smiles. Zayn smiles small back to him. The doctor assumed Zayn needed him to start the conversations. So, he set his notebook down and took off his glasses.

"I'm not going to sit here and pretend I know what you're going through, or have been going through. But I'm not going to lie and say I don't see how much you're hurting, Zayn." He says firmly.

Zayn feels his throat close up a little, and sees the tears start to gather on his water line. But he never lets them fall. "I just..." Zayn swallows and blinks the tears away. "It doesn't feel like it will ever stop hurting."

The doctor nods his head, listening, understanding. "The loss of a loved one is always going to be painful. And if you're hoping one day it will just go away, it won't happen, Zayn." Zayn nods to show he's listening. "We don't know why good things happen to bad people, and I guess it's just something that can't be changed. But you have to believe that Alaska is better now."

"She had been hurting, and she knew it. You both did, and I promise you Zayn she held on as long as she could. But you need to realize that even if she's not here, Alaska will always be with you."

"I think part of the reason you're not moving on, is because you're still hoping that Alaska will come back. She won't, Zayn. That is the truth and nothing can change that. Alaska has let go. It's time for you to do the same." The doctor finished.

It took Zayn some time to let his words sink in. Eyebrows knitted in concentration and eyes pointed at the ground as he thought upon the words. Then, he stopped.

Zayn stopped fiddling with his fingers, he stopped tensing up his muscles, he stopped bouncing his leg on the floor. Zayn stopped, and he realized.

He now knows that Alaska is better. She's happy, at her best. At peace. She no longer has to live in a world with such pain and sorrow. She doesn't have to be afraid anymore. And she is always, looking after him and Alana.

"You know, as much as we're getting along, I didn't expect you to be here. Or...know where I live."

Zayn walks through the door of Harry's home, after Harry stepped out of the way and held it for him. Zayn nodded a thank you before looking around.

He looked nervous. Playing with his fingers, eyes not meeting Harry's. "Yeah uh, sorry."

Harry nodded as he tries to figure out what was wrong. "Where's Lana?" He asked.

Zayn smiled at the little nickname Harry has for his little girl. It was sweet. "Uh, my babysitter has her tonight." He smiled small at him and Harry nodded. "Look..." Zayn started to say something but trailed off as he lost confidence.

"Zayn." Harry grabbed his attention before walking toward him so they were inches apart. Zayn's breathing picked up a little. "What's wrong?" He asked, but it sounded more of a demand for answer.