Bad Habits

I am sinking fast

In the taxi Miles was silent. This scared Alex as he didn't know if Miles was well or happy. What Taylor had done was yes wrong, but he didn't know how to calm them and prevent the overthinking. Once they got to Miles's flat Miles spoke, "don't follow me. I'll call you." Which stabbed Alex. He just nodded and waved the man goodbye. He wasn't ready to face the next week. Hell, Miles didn't think he'd relapse like he did. Once Alex saw Miles went safely into his flat he told the driver to drop him off at Matt's place. He needed his best friend.

~Alex's POV~
For the first day, he didn't call or text me. I assumed he was just busy with coming to terms with my proposal of making a new album. I shared it with Matt and he replied, "I'll be there to help with drums." Which I thanked him for but wish Miles saw through this idea. On that day me and Matt decided to do an Alien movie marathon. On the 2nd film I confessed to Matt my heart sob, "Matt I'm bisexual. I have a crush on Miles. I think he loves me." Which Matt smirked at and laughed slightly, "about time Alex!" And I slapped him playfully before focusing on the films.

On the third day, I was at my own place; tinkering around with new ideas and concepts for artwork. My floor scattered with scrunched up paper and dead pens. I checked my phone. Nothing. I was confused. I knew Miles well enough to know he'd never keep a grudge. Yet, he wanted me to live with him. I sighed and looked out of my window, it was raining again. "Miles where are you?" I mumbled, sipping at my black cold coffee. I called him but my call didn't go through.

On the fifth day, I got a call from an unknown number. "Hello who is this?"
"Are you Alex Turner?"
"Yes. Yes I am. Who are you??"
"I'm Jay and I am Miles's neighbour. He has been locked in his place for nearly a week. I went in to check on him and he was so weak."
"Does he need hospital care?"
"No...just love and someone who will help him recover from this sludge."
"Oh my god. I'm coming!"
In a rush Alex ran outside to catch the bus to see his Miles. He wasn't expecting Miles to end up like this.

-Miles's POV-
As soon as I got into my flat from the taxi I turned to Alex and gave him a warning, don't follow me. I opened the door and slammed it shut, sobbing silently. I wish Alex was honest, maybe even so honest he would love me. Yet Alex loved a lady. Taylor. I went into my bedroom and locked the door. My tears free flowing like liquid gold. I didn't wish to speak to Alex ever again. Hell, maybe his stupid project idea might be forgotten about.

After 2 days of missing Alex's calls and texts of pleads. I unlocked my bedroom door. My whole body was shaking. I had relapsed. I hadn't taken my medication in 2 days. At this rate my doctors would tut and try again by hospitalising me so I did take it. I took my medicine and looked in the bathroom mirror. My eyes had raccoon like bags. I sighed. The nightmares had came back. The nightmares taunted me. They reminded me Alex was straight. I twisted and turned and sobbed a sea of tears wanting it to end. I knew someday I'd forgive Alex. But today isn't the day.

After 5 days of not sleeping or eating or leaving I got a knock on the door. I knew Alex would've pressed the buzzer or even used a paper clip to drag my frail and stick like body to the hospital, he might even try and buy or cook my favourite meal. I cautiously opened the door. Jay. "Miles,is everything okay? I've not seen you leave this place..." he asked worriedly. I was as pale as a vampire, skinny as a cheese stick and was unable to look at him in the eye. "Miles? I'm your good friend. You can tell me..." he whispered. I was feeling nauseous and dizzy and everything looked blurry. My heart felt it was falling and breaking. I collapsed and jay screamed my name as he caught me. Then everything went black.

-PRESENT DAY-
Alex knocked on Miles's door and Jay answered. "Hey, are you Alex?" He asked him and Alex nodded before Jay welcomed him in. "Miles is...resting at this moment but we can talk more." He explained. Alex fidgeted scared of what he was going to hear. This Jay person was just a neighbour to Miles. He did seem very welcoming. "I went to check on him because I know he takes medication and likes to go out sometimes for a jog. When I heard none of that I knew I had to check." He went on. Alex pictured Miles in a grey hoodie and black joggers. It made him emotional but he let the man continue. "When I asked him, he looked dreadful and...and he fainted...in my arms." He whispered, making Alex's heart smash into a zillion pieces. He had caused Miles to relapse.

Alex sat in shock, numb and unable to speak. Jay didn't say anything either, he had gone to the kitchen to make dinner, pasta. "Alex don't blame yourself. It isn't the nicest thing." He tried to convince Alex but Alex knew. Taylor caused him this pain! Then Alex was pulled out his haze of sadness when he heard a door opening and light feet. Miles. "When did you guys get here?" He asked hazily, holding onto the wall as he walked to the kitchen. "An hour ago for me and 15 minutes for him." Jay smiled gently and Miles groaned in embarrassment. Alex could tell Miles was ashamed they were cooking and watching him. "Miles come over here...we need to talk." Alex whispered. Miles nodded and walked slowly over. His head hurt. Did he take his medicine today? "I'm so sorry I hurt you dear! I didn't mean to do this!" Alex wept hugging a terrified and numb Miles. He was cold and shaking. "Alex. I understand. I'm sorry I left you in the dark." He muttered. Alex kissed his forehead and Miles whimpered, so Alex inquired what was bothering him, "I haven't eaten in 5 days and the smell is making my stomach hurt..." he said sheepishly. Jay and Alex exchanged a smirk. The old Miles was coming back, slowly.