Roommatezzz - A Good Omens FanFic

Chapter 1: The not-punishment

After the failed Armageddon, multiple things happened that Gabriel didn't expect. First, that the seemingly ordinary traitorous angel Aziraphale somehow survived hellfire. Second, that the equally traitorous demon Crowley survived holy water (according to Beelzebub who seemed very annoyed that they wasted that whole mock trial for nothing). And third, that The Almighty herself called both of them to meet with her. In person.

*

Gabriel had gotten there way too early so he had spent the last 5 hours pacing nervously in the waiting room to The Almighty's office.

Beelzebub arrived right on time. They didn't want to spend more time then they had to in heaven. Even though it was almost completely remodeled after The Great War, it still brought back too many bad memories.

They walked in to see the archangel fucking Gabriel (as he liked to call himself) stressed out of his mind. It would have been funny to them if they hadn't spent that day doing the exact same thing but in the privacy of their own room.

If they weren't feeling the panic they had been suppressing during their trip here.

If this was the the only time they had seen Gabriel truly, genuinely, scared.

They decided to ignore Gabriel and the unwanted feelings of pity, empathy, and.....something else they didn't want to dissect at that moment.

Both beings were interrupted from their thoughts when The Almighty's voice came from the speaker "Gabriel and Beelzebub, I am ready to see you." This was but a formality of course, since they both were the only ones there. They both walked right through the big white doors and into her office.

*

Her office looked like any regular office with a desk and two chairs. But the one key difference was that where the bosses chair was supposed to be, there was a glowing light not coming from any human light source. No one has ever seen her in her human form. No one was even sure she had a human form.

Gabriel made the first motion to bow, which was a strange sight to Beelzebub who had stayed in an upright position and slightly glaring at her. All of the demons of hell resented her. But none of them, especially Beelzebub, were stupid enough to insult her to her face. So Beelzebub just stuck with lightly glaring.

"Oh for heavens sake Gabriel no need to be so formal! Sit down, the both of you." The Almighty insisted.

Gabriel stood up, slightly embarrassed and panicked. Beelzebub would have made fun of him if they weren't also panicking like a demon next to a pool of holy water. They were good at hiding their feelings though so they hadn't shown any signs of distress.

Gabriel on the other hand was currently an open book of emotions. Looking at the walls and floor nervously as The Almighty spoke. "You two are probably wondering why you're here. I've called you here to talk about the failed Armageddon-"

Gabriel interrupted while looking at the floor. "I'm so sorry your greatness we tried to stop the traitors but we-"

"Do you really think" she said, not letting the archangel finish his apology. "If I had actually wanted Armageddon to happen I would have let a demon, an angel, the anti-christ and a couple of very smart humans stop it?" Neither of them responded so she continued.

"The answer is no. I wouldn't have. But I, in fact, do not want to end earth just yet." Both Beelzebub and Gabriel thought for a moment before Beelzebub spoke.

"With all due rezzpect your greatnezzzz," Their buzzing vocal tic got worse when they were nervous. "Wazzn't there a 'Great Plan' that you wrote that specifically called for Armageddon, azzz well azz another war between heaven and hell?" Gabriel looked over at the lord of the flies as if he had just noticed them here for the first time.

The Almighty simply responded with, "Oh that thing? That was more of a heat of the moment thing, I never actually meant it." Beelzebub and Gabriel both looked quite dumbfounded and didn't say a word. "No, what I wanted to discuss was how you two handled Armageddon being stopped." She continued. "In that you tried to execute two of my favorite creations to date." She didn't exactly yell, it was more condescending if anything.

Yet Gabriel still looked so scared. Beelzebub actually felt sorry for him even though they would never admit it. They were scared too but, what could she do to Beelzebub. If she wanted to smite them, they wouldn't be standing here right now. But Gabriel, he could lose everything. If he fell he would be just another demon. He would be discorporated painfully multiple times by all the demons who hated him more than should be possible.

They wouldn't even wish that on their worst enemy. Which was supposed to be Gabriel. But after the Armageddon't they had a sort of unspoken agreement that they would stay out of each other's way and not be a nuisance to the other.

"So to make you both understand Crowley and Aziraphales point of view on humanity," The Almighty started. "You will live on earth for an indeterminate amount of time." Gabriel became less scared and more annoyed. "But your greatness-" "I'm not finished." Interrupted The Almighty. "And to keep each other in check, you will have to live together." Beelzebub and Gabriel now both looked utterly annoyed. Neither said a word and taking that as a suitable response, The Almighty sent them both to their current dwelling.

*

That felt too much like the fall. That was Beelzebub's first thought when they were teleported to a cozy house in the South Downs. It was disorienting, pitch black, then they were falling to the floor. But instead of landing in burning sulfur, they landed on a cold hardwood floor. They froze on the ground for a moment from the horrible memory coming to the forefront of their mind. Then they snapped out of it; suppressed all those icky emotions deep down; and got up from the ground, brushing themselves off.

Gabriel had gotten up from the ground before them and started to look around. At the moment he was holding a note written in very neat handwriting saying,

One more thing,
The entire house is bought for you so don't worry about that. Also, your respective stuff is in the moving van. Everything is in there except for items that could endanger either of your lives. (Why do you even need a bucket of holy water in your office Gabriel?) Good luck! :)

"What'zz that?" Beelzebub asked. This was the first time they both had spoken to each other that day. "It's more information." He said blandly, tossing the piece of paper to his new roommate. After Beelzebub read it over they asked, "Why did you have a bucket of holy water in your office?" "That, is none of your business." Gabriel responded. At this Beelzebub rolled their eyes.

At that moment Gabriel noticed that The Almighty had changed Beelzebub's clothes to a black oversized MCR T-shirt, black ripped jeans, and platform boots. Their face sores had also changed to a different coloring in the skin tone where they usually were. They had apparently noticed the change in clothes as well and miracled a mirror in front of themselves. They were admiring the style choice and silently applauding The Almighty for knowing style.

Gabriel went over and checked out his own outfit. It was a grey t-shirt and denim jeans. "Miracle your own mirror azzhole." They said shoving him away. They then made the mirror disappear and flipped Gabriel while walking away. "C'mon, let's go get our stuff from the moving van." Gabriel had no choice than to follow.

(AN: I will include a drawing of each of their outfits here as soon as I can!)