Roommatezzz - A Good Omens FanFic

Chapter 2: The Neighbors

It was a fairly regular night for Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley fell asleep on Aziraphale's lap while Aziraphale spent the whole night reading. Then, all of a sudden, they both heard a soft "thump". Crowley immediately woke up and said groggily "Ughhhh- Wot was that Angel?" "I'll check my dear. I'm sure it's nothing." Replied Aziraphale. He went to the window and pulled back the curtains to see...Gabriel and Beelzebub?! In different clothes? Arguing?

*

"You idiot! If you use magic to move these boxezz then someone will notice!" Beelzebub whisper-yelled. "I believe," Gabriel started. "This is a time humans call 'night' where they go into an altered consciousness where they can't do much."

"Zzzleep. It's called sleep. And humans can wake up from it for arbitrary reasons. So, we have to carry these by hand." Said Beelzebub. "I- do not damage my celestial temple with silly things like manual labor." Responded Gabriel. "You literally go on a run every morning." Beelzebub said while heading to the van to open it.

"That's different." Gabriel retorted, following Beelzebub to the van. "Oh really?" Beelzebub said sarcastically. "Name one way it's different." They picked up two boxes with ease.

Gabriel tried to pick up a box and nearly fell over. Beelzebub barely stifled a laugh. "Shut it." Gabriel said, obviously straining. Beelzebub took that box as well and started walking inside. Gabriel glared at them with a feeling of....jealously? Resentment? He decided to find a lighter box to bring in before he let his mind entertain the thought of it being anything other than those two things.

*

"Sooo.....we could move?" Suggested Crowley. "We can't do that! This is the house we've always wanted! You said so yourself when we bought it." Aziraphale argued. "Well we sure as hell can't just go about our day as normal!" Crowley retorted. "We....can just try and avoid them?" Aziraphale said unconvincingly. "They're our neighbors Angel. We can't just completely ignore them without someone in the neighborhood becoming suspicious." Crowley said, exasperated. Both of them had thought they had left their old lives behind them after their respective head offices thought that they could survive hellfire and holy water. But apparently they were wrong.

*

After everything was set up it was morning time. They both looked around, lost in thought. A knock at the door startled them both. So much that Gabriel fell to the floor in surprise. Beelzebub scoffed in amusement and opened the door.

In front of them stood a Blonde, blue haired, 25 year old girl with freckles and a big smile. "Hello! I'm Penny! I'm so sorry if this is intrusive but I just saw the moving van outside and I just couldn't help but introduce myself to the new neighbors and-" By this point Gabriel had gotten off from the ground and decided to interject himself into the conversation.

"Hello Penny. My name is Gabriel and this is-" then in that split second, he got an idea that he thought was the most hilarious thing in the universe. "Bee." He sneaked a smirk that said: You can't dispute this now in front of a human.

Beelzebub, wanting to retake control of the reins, decided to say, "That's what my friends call me anyways."

Penny, oblivious to the rivalry between them, said pleasantly, "Such nice names! What are you guys's pronouns?"

This was something Gabriel had never heard of before. He knew of pronouns in general terms, but he had never heard of people asking other people their personal pronouns.

But Beelzebub, who was well versed in this topic, instantly replied with, "Mine are They/Ze and Gabriel's are He/Him. How about you?"

Gabriel realized that he had always referred to Beelzebub with the correct pronouns. They had never actually told him, he had just known. He would have to dwell on that on a later date-

"So what do you think?" Penny said expectantly at the both of them. Gabriel just said, "Erm, Yes! I agree with you!" With as much faux confidence as he could muster. "Great!" Exclaimed Penny. She ran away yelling excitedly, "10:00! Tomorrow! See you both there!"

Beelzebub closed the door and glared at Gabriel. "Where you even lizzztening to a word they were zzaying?" Ze said.

"Well my response seemed to make her happy so....mission accomplished!" Gabriel said confidently. Beelzebub just sighed. "When did you zzztop liztening idiot?"

"Around the pronouns thing, by the way why would you ask someone their pronouns?" Gabriel asked, trying to divert the conversation.

Beelzebub put zeir head in their hand and said exasperatedly, "First of all, that person's pronouns are They/She, second you just agreed us to a neighborhood party tomorrow welcoming us to the neighborhood. And third-" they continued to explain why people ask other people's pronouns and how it's very important in social settings.

Gabriel felt a feeling of deja vu during the explanation for whatever reason. He decided to ignore that and put it on the back burner with so many other things.

*

Crowley was out in the front garden taking care of his plants when he heard, "10:00! Tomorrow! See you both there!" He recognized that voice as Penny. One of the people in the growing list of humans who knew for sure about the existence of heaven and hell. He looked up and noticed that she was yelling that at the new occupants of the house next door.

He went inside his house and said, "Angel! We need to have an emergency meeting with Penny immediately!" Aziraphale came downstairs and looked at Crowleys disgruntled face. "And why exactly is that my dear?"

"She's planning a neighborhood party for Gabriel and Beelzebub!" Crowley complained. "Oh! Yes, well then we must meet with them immediately!"