Suicide was the best thing I've ever done

Chapter 1: Heaven and Hell aren't that different

      Well, that didn't work out so well. My thoughts are still running, which means my brain still works, meaning there's blood pumping throughout my body. But how? The rug was red, I was alone, and I went numb. I couldn't feel anything. I should try and open my eyes. Maybe I'll see lovely angels with yellow halos and beautifully spread wings. That's not going to happen, people who kill themselves don't go to heaven. "Taking a life that God was supposed to take when he was ready, will send you straight to hell." that is how my mother put it. Maybe I am in hell, with the little devils and Satan ready to put me through eternal misery. Although, is hell really that bad? With all of the gay people and the people who take their own lives. As long as I stay away from the rapists and serial killers I should be ok, unless the serial killer had a good reason, then maybe we could be friends. This is my life now, waterslides lined with razor blades and a serial killer as my best friend. At least I'll still be surrounded by red, my favourite. Look at me, so positive even in death, maybe I shouldn't have died.

      Crying. No, not crying, sobbing. Why's the Devil sad? I should open my eyes, but the dark is so peaceful like I had always wanted. Whatever, I have to face the Devil at one point or another, maybe he's even nice. Here I go. I shuttered my eyes open to a blue-tinted light. Not hell, shocker. Perhaps heaven? No way, heaven wouldn't have the constant beeping that just reached my ears. This is somewhere completely different. As my eyes fully spring awake, I start to take in my surroundings. Some type of monitor, curtains, and still that damn crying. Stop. I beg internally. Stop crying. I turn to the mess of whines and sobs, but it isn't the devil. Mom? Oh, this is definitely hell. Although she isn't the Devil she's probably the closest thing they could get on short notice. I wouldn't be surprised if their resumes were practically identical.

      My mother sees my eyes wide and she starts screaming for people, acting as if the doctors don't have other people to treat. More important people. But no one is more important than the Devil's daughter. I automatically tune out her words on instinct, and as she speaks to the nurse she flails her arms, which makes me laugh a little inside my head. She looks ridiculous. Maybe this is Heaven? Though it's super unlikely, watching her swing around like a chicken could be eternally funny. So not heaven, not hell, then where am I?

      It didn't work. How did the red rug not drain every ounce of blood in my body? How did I have such bad luck that slitting my own damn wrists couldn't take me out? Am I invincible? Any second now the doctors at Hillside hospital are going to rush in here with looks of gratitude on their faces and explain how lucky I am to survive such a thing. I'm not feeling lucky, I feel worthless. I'm disappointed in myself for not getting it right. And angry. Angry that I had to wake up in a hospital bed. Angry that I had to wake up at all.

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Authors Notes

This chapter is pretty short too, they're get longer as we go along. This chapter is also not much storyline, just a small intro to the storyline which starts next chapter. I'll see you there 😏

Also, if you find any grammar and/or punctuation mistakes, POINT THEM OUT! I normally try to be very strict about my own grammar and things, so if you see a problem please correct me in the comments.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments, don't forget to vote and I'll see you soon <3

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