I'll Look After You

Chapter 18

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She was lying on the bed. She looked like she was just sleeping except for the missing soft snores. Derek moved from his spot leaning on the door frame and finally entered her room. He was careful in making his way towards her though a part of him wanted to make all the noise in the world in hopes of her waking up.

He approached her bed and stood right next to her, looking down at her sleeping form.

"Meredith," he called out, reaching out and running his hands across her hair. "Meredith, if you could hear me... Just... Just... Wake up, okay? I don't know what to do anymore. You can't leave me like this."

He finally sat down and let the beeping of the machines be the only thing to envelope the room.

"I don't know what to talk to you about. Usually you're the one's who's rambling... And I don't want to talk about what's happened to us, Mer. Cos' for me there's nothing that happened between us... Just for now, for this moment... We're still us. Just for now, Mer... We're still us..."

He let out a deep breath and thought of something to talk about. Something to divert his sad thoughts to something happier.

"Do you remember that day when a rabbit managed to get inside our trailer?" he smiled at the memory. "I was driving up to the trailer and you suddenly called me. I answered the phone and you screamed and screamed that there was a rabbit inside the trailer and that it crawled over your foot and it was trying to eat your toes. You told me to hurry on home not knowing that I was right there in the driveway and I can see you through the trailer window, jumping up on the kitchen booth.

Do you remember how angry you were at me when I just laughed at you through the phone? And then you just hung up. I hung up too and I headed inside. You ran towards me and started to point at the dead rabbit on the floor. You said you killed the rabbit. You said you killed the rabbit with your screaming," he chuckled lightly, remembering her frantic face when she told him as he entered the trailer that she killed the rabbit with her high octave voice.

"Your high octave voice... I laughed at your silliness, we all know you can't kill anyone with a high octave voice. Remember how that night, when we were in bed, you wondered if the rabbit had a family waiting for it to come home... You felt guilty killing it, thinking of its family... I don't want to be that rabbit's family, Mer... So, please, wake up..."

"I didn't kill that rabbit," she suddenly spoke in a soft voice, breaking the silence.

"Mer?" Derek scrambled off of his chair almost knocking it down in the process. "Meredith?"

"The rabbit was bitten by something, I think it just went to the trailer to die," she continued on speaking.

"Mer, you're awake," he sputtered as he ran his hands through her hair, making sure she really was awake.

"What happened?" she slowly opened her eyes.

"You got into a car accident. But that doesn't matter now," he shook his head, smiling down at her. "You're okay. You're awake."

"My head hurts," she muttered, frowning a little.

"I-I'll go get a doctor," he muttered absentmindedly.

"Der, you're a doctor," she reminded him.

"Right now I can't even think," he shook his head as he reached over and pressed the nurse's button. He wanted to swoop down and kiss her senseless but he stopped himself from doing so. They weren't together and he knew even being in her room was too much for him to be doing already but he didn't care. He didn't care at all.

"So it's true, you're awake," Cristina entered her small hospital room and immediately sat down on the lower part of her bed.

"Yeah," she tore her gaze from the window and looked at her friend.

"Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was?"

"You could at least give me a hug," Meredith gave her friend a small smirk, knowing what her response would be.

"You know I don't do hugs," Cristina rolled her eyes. "But just know that I'm glad you're alright."

"Fine."

"By the way, your lover boy's gone loco," Cristina informed her.

"What? Layton?"

"The dude actually punched a wall. Concrete. Head on."

"He's here?"

"He flew right back when he found out."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you can say?"

"I can't exactly form any coherent thought right now, Cristina," she leaned back further into her pillows. Her head was killing her but the thoughts that have been running through it did more damage. When she woke up earlier that day, she was happy that Derek was the first person she saw. The look in his eyes made her happy that in some way, she knew he still cared for her.

"Well, I just want to tell you that I regret ever setting you up with that lawyer," Cristina broke her thoughts.

"What? Why?" she asked her friend.

"He was the reason for this, you know, his enemies or whatever."

"It's not his fault, Cristina," Meredith shook her head and sighed. It really wasn't Layton's fault.

"I still regret it," Cristina forcefully stated.

"I regret everything, Cristina," she whispered, looking back outside the window. The rain was trickling softly on the window, just like the day she decided to leave Derek. "I regret everything."

"You had an epiphany or something while you were in the coma?" Cristina asked.

"Kinda like that," she replied softly as she nodded. "I just realized some things."

"Good things?"

She looked back at Cristina and in a soft, barely audible voice she spoke her heart out.

"I love him, Cristina."
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