First Love

~Part 10~

Jungkook's pov

Jungkook was busy preparing for the comeback of their new girl group. Along with that he had his own personal works. Yoongi had been helping him with his solo work that was going to be released 'one day'. He had been preparing a lot, but was never satisfied with the songs. So he rewrote many songs again and again, removed some and it was going on.
Yoongi have been telling him not to think too much about it and release. But he was stubborn and wanted to get a perfect result out of it. So there isn't an exact date for the album release, but one day he will. He is now more concentrated on his company work.

Jin have been calling him non stop to come and help in his shop, and Jungkook promised him he will meet him right after the comeback works. The comeback day came pretty soon and everything went really well. Their new songs was loved by the fans and Yoongi appreciated Jungkook a lot. He was so happy. It was then his parents asked him to go and meet them when he is free. They were having a small gathering in their home town.

Jungkook asked Jin hyung whether he is coming, but he already knew the answer for that. Jin was really busy with his business. But he packed a lot of gifts for all the family members, even the distant ones and asked Jungkook to take it with him. He planned to spend just 2 days there and come back. He have promised Jin to come soon.

Jungkook reached Busan by afternoon. He drove all the way alone. He wasn't bored, but put his favorite playlist on. He didn't even knew how fast he reached home. His mom and dad were so happy to meet him after long time. They were really proud of him and loved his new songs.
Jungkook's parents were always supportive. They didn't even hesitate to approve Jungkook to pursue music when their whole family were coming from business background.

They were having lunch along with all their extended family members. Some of them were asking Jungkook too many questions about his life, career and some even wanted to know whether he have a girlfriend. Slowly he started getting tired of those gossiping talks and he sneakily went to his room. He walked to the window and looked at the calmful sea in front of him. The air smelled like sea and he was loving it. He really missed Busan, but he also loved the city life. Seoul was the place who made him the current Jungkook and he was so grateful for the city and people related to it.

He heard someone clearing their throat. When he looked back, he found his father standing next to him.
"Why are you sitting here? Why did you left the table?" His father asked with concern lining in his words.
"Nothing. You know, I'm not so used to be in a group like that chattering and gossiping. I just felt suffocated & left. Also I'm really tired."

He keep looking through the window. He could see the sun slowly setting down in far distance. He always wondered how easily Busan can calm him. Even though he is far away, his soul may always find it's way back home, where his roots lies. He kept on thinking until his father continued.

"Do you remember the Kim's?"

That single question brought back his whole attention to his father. How can he forget the Kim's. Especially the youngest of them. The one who was his everything in his past, the one who still haunts him in his dreams, the one who still own his heart, even if he want to deny it a thousand times.
"Yes, I remember."

He wanted to ask many things, but he simply kept quiet after that. He didn't know why his father was bringing back that topic. His family never talked anything about Kim's to him after his past incidents. None of them knew what happened between Taehyung and Jungkook, but they realized something have happened that have wounded both of them so deeply. They didn't bother much about it during that time as they were busy with business and relocating their residence. But later they regretted it so much. They regretted not able to be with Jungkook that time emotionally, for not caring about the matter at all. They never think about how Jungkook must have felt as both Tae and Jungkook were friends and soulmates for so long. They didn't even bother to ask how was he doing. They regretted a lot and guilt was eating them always, till now. So the topic of Kim's was always a sensitive one in that household. They never talked about anything to Jungkook about this matter, they purposely avoided it. And Jungkook was so aware of that too. So he really was shocked to hear that question from his father.

When he looked at his father again, he saw his mothers face too. She was leaning on the door and looking at him. He can't recognize the emotions on their face. He simply waited without asking anything else.

"I know we must have asked about this years before. But we know we made a big mistake by ignoring you and what you went through but concetrating on our business. We are sorry for that. I know that it still hurts you deep. We are really clueless about what happened. But your mom said, you still mumble his name in your sleep. I'm sorry son for being a bad parent, for not paying much attention to you. I can't imagine what you have gone through."

Jungkook simply looked at his father. His fathers eyes was moist with tears. He felt so bad seeing his parents like that. Also he couldn't believe the fact that his mother heard him calling for Taehyung in his sleep. He can't believe he did that.

"Mom, Dad, I don't know why you are bringing this matter now. Yes, it's true that I was so confused, sad and lonely during that time. But I'm okay now. It would have been so good if either of you offered me help, comforted me. I wouldn't deny that. But I don't hate you. I know that you were so busy with the business and shifting. I don't blame any one of you. It's all in the past. I believe everything was for good. Anyway is there a particular reason you mentioned the Kim's?"

"No, there isn't. But we came to know that they are in Seoul. We haven't had any contacts with them later as we moved our business to Busan. But I met one of our old colleague and he said about Kim's. Their business have grown a lot. I heard that both of their oldest sons are married. Don't know whether they have kids. My friend met one of them during last week for a meeting. He said their second son's partner is also a well known business icon. I don't know much about Mr & Mrs Kim. But they all are residing in Seoul. And you know.. ermm.. about Taehyung"

Jungkook wasn't listening much to his fathers words till now. Suddenly his heart started to beat faster. His mother was looking at him with concern in her eyes. She was waiting for Jungkook's reaction to these new found information.

"I didn't get any information about Taehyung. My friend also said he haven't seen Taehyung in any of their meetings. When he asked the eldest Kim, he said Taehyung isn't here in Korea, but is managing his own business abroad. Taehyung's name is not even in the board of directors or anywhere in their company. I don't know why I'm telling this. But when I heard this, I thought of sharing with you. What I'm telling is.. If you still have something for Taehyung.. I mean something more than friendship with him, it's okay, we won't judge you.. Please understand he isn't anywhere near you and most probably he might have moved on from his past. I guess you got what I mean."

Both pair of eyes were looking at Jungkook expecting some kind of reaction. But he simply turned his eyes towards the sea and looked outside. He didn't tell anything for few minutes. He didn't know what to do with this new found information. He was not mad at his parents for bringing this up, but he felt so happy that his parents are concerned about his feelings, that they are trying to understand him, to know more about him.

"I don't know why you felt like sharing this with me. But thanks for understanding me. Thanks for this open talk. I feel so lighthearted now. And I think, you guessed it right. I might have loved Taehyung. But I'm a fool that I didn't realize that until few months ago, when I started to have this dreams about him. And mom, you might have witnessed me having such a dream. Anyway I'm happy for him, wherever he is. I let him go, I hurt him, and I deserve this. Even you realized the love between us, but not me. Taehyung was always right, he had the courage to show his love, but I was always a fool, a coward. I shouldn't have rejected him just like that. You know what, I never even looked at his face again, I could see hurt in his eyes. But I ignored him, I hurt him, I left him all alone. What kind of friend was me. He never deserve me dad. He never."

Before realizing it, streams of tears were falling down his cheeks. He was sobbing hard. All the feelings that he had for Taehyung, all the heaviness in his heart, his guilt, all his emotions were now flowing out. His mom ran towards him and pulled him into a hug. She rocked him back and forth and said sweet nothing. She was so worried, and was at the verge of crying seeing her son like this. They stayed like that until Jungkook slowly fallen to sleep, from his cries and tiredness.
His mom slowly pulled apart and with the help of his dad, put him to sleep on the bed. They left him in the room to have a peaceful sleep.

Tears were flowing non stop, even if he was sleeping. His dream was back again. He could see his TaeTae running in a park and someone in the far calling him Kookie.. Then all he could hear was cute giggles of two boys.