Kintsugi: the golden repair // Hanemiya Kazutora x Reader

Chapter Eleven but I can still remember just the way you taste

Y/n had fallen asleep, exhausted from crying, snuggling the stuffed animal. She didn't dream, just floated in unconsciousness. It was still daylight when the consistent buzzing of her phone had awoken her. Chifuyu was calling and she almost didn't answer, not in the mood to deal with any more human interactions. That was until she remembered the battle of Toman vs. Valhalla. Before answering the phone, she mentally braced herself for the worse possible outcome.
Only the horror's unraveled through Chifuyu's cracking, sobbing voice could've never been imagined. She had prepared for the worse only to awake into a nightmare.

The weight of Kazutora being arrested again was even heavier the second time around. This time, she had to grieve the death of Baji. I'm never going to see him grin again. He's never going to mess up my hair, or let me ride on his bike again. He's never going to yell at me for taking too long, or compliment me to make Tora mad for fun. We're never going to laugh together again. When Chifuyu explained what had happened, Y/n had to run into the bathroom of her home to throw up. She was sick until it was only stinging, yellow bile coming up her throat. Even then her body felt like it had to purge. She wasn't even present at the fight and she still felt traumatized. He died in Chifuyu's arms.  She was sick again when Kazutora received his ten-year sentence. She wasn't allowed at the trial but received the news through Draken. Young and heartbroken, Y/n did not believe that life could go on. The idea of a future seemed improbable and unfair. She grieved. She spent days in physical and emotional pain. And finally, with the help of Chifuyu and Mikey, she accepted the reality of the situation. The only way to feel any sort of closure, get any sort of answer, was to visit Kazutora. All he has to do is tell me to wait, and I will. All he needs to say is, 'Y/n I need your help.' and I'll visit and write to him as much as he needs to me. I'll be by his side this time.

"Hanemiya," the guard slid open his celldoor window to talk to him, "you've got a visitor." Kazutora put down the book he was reading, pondering who it could've been. Draken and Takemichi had visited him a week ago, Could be Draken, he's a good friend like that. "She's real pretty, didn't tell anyone you had a girlfriend." The guard laughed, hoping that it would make the boy pick up his slow pace. Instead Kazutora stopped in his tracks, "No."
"Huh?" the guard more than confused with the boy's reaction, "No, I can't. I can't face her like this. Tell her I don't want to see her." His seriousness just made the guard drop his shoulders and his smile, shut the sliding door, and walk off. He went to break the news to Y/n.
It was late that night after lights out that the gravity of his decision suffocated Tora. He thought he was doing her a favor. That seeing her would break him in even more ways. He needed to heal and seeing Y/n would destroy him. He believed he did not deserve any of the treatment Y/n had given him. She's too good for me. So as soon as the light's turned back on the next morning Tora asked for a pen and paper, and began writing Y/n a letter.

She received it three days later in the mail:
Y/n,
I have ten years to think about the things that I have done. The damage I have caused. The things I have not done, and will not do because of my decisions. The pain. Not only pain I've inflicted on my friends or to you but also to myself.

You have ten years to live your life, so please do that. Live life for the both of us. All those dreams you whispered to me on top of the roof, you gotta make that happened. But, please, please, don't miss me. Don't miss me because I'm not the guy that you deserve. If you ever come across a guy and think to yourself, wow he reminds me of Tora, stay away from him. You need better.

I have ten years to become the man I'm supposed to be, the man my father never was, and the man that you deserve.

Friends no matter what.
You've done more for me than I could ever repay you for.
I love you. Sorry I never told you in person. Sorry for a lot of things.
Kazutora

Y/n saved the note, sticking it closed up on her board with all of the pictures of her friends. Over the years she had collected a lot more. Recently making an entire board dedicated to Keisuke.  She saved the tiger, keeping it on her bed, then moving it up on her shelf. She visited Baji's grave frequently with Chifuyu, making it a tradition to go every November 3rd. Stayed by Mikey until he disbanded Toman and disappeared from his friend's lives. Formed a deep personal friendship with Hina after Emma's death. She finally understood what women meant when they said 'soul sisters'. Kept in contact with the remaining founding members. She lived for the next ten years, having moments and people remind her of the boy next door who was never really nice to her but loved her in his own way no matter what.