Give Me A Chance {Cielois}

~Chapter Three~ Starting Over

{~Hey, sorry to anyone who actually reads and/or likes this, I'm sorry it took me so long to upload this new chapter, I have no excuses, but thanks for reading and here's a new chapter for you all!!~} ~T.N.A.

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{~This chapter is gonna be in Alois's point of view, sorry.~}

I awoke the next morning to the bright light making its way past my curtains and to my eyes.

Shielding my eyes, I sit up and groan, feeling a slight pain in the back of my skull, a dull ache. Stretching, I wondered why Claude hadn't come to wake me, assuming it was quite late if I had awoken on my own.

I tossed my sheets to the side and stood groggily, rubbing my eyes. I knew how to dress myself, due to my experience from living on the streets, I'd just prefer that Claude did it for me, I like to see that slight annoyance that he tries to hide, and I also am usually just too tired, or lazy to do it myself.

Grumbling to myself, I walked over to my wardrobe and began throwing clothes out left and right trying to find what I'd like to wear for the day. Finally deciding on a pair of black short-shorts, thigh-high black nylon socks, a white button-up dress shirt, a forest green pin-striped vest, a balck bowtie, and my long purple overcoat, I walked over to my bed and laid the chosen clothing articles on the bed and began unbuttoning the long nightshirt that resembled that of a woman's nightgown.

After fully dressing, I slipped on my knee-high brown, heeled boots and tied up their purple silk laces. I walked to the bathroom and brushed my hair, as well as my teeth, I also washed my face, seeing it looked quite oily this morning. I made a mental note to have Claude prepare a bath for me later, after breakfast and after my paperwork had been completed.

Walking downstairs, not hearing or seeing signs of anyone but myself, I was slightly frightened as to what was going on. They'd never leave me, right? Even that bloody tart Hannah who's stayed after all that, she still wouldn't leave, would she? I wondered nervously. Please, they can't leave me all alone too, no, they wouldn't, they can't! I began to panick.

Running downstairs and searching frantically for anyone, I ran outside after finding no traces of anyone inside the manor. I searched all around the yards of the manor, still coming up empty handed. I slouched against the side of the manor, sliding my way down to a sitting position on the ground. I balled my fists at my sides, willing myself not to weep, not to shed a single tear. I didn't want to show any weakness, it seems I only ever showed weakness, and now that I'm all alone again I must be strong, I have no one to lean on anymore, only myself . . . all alone again . . . it seems that's how I always end up . . .

Biting my lip, nearly drawing blood, I try to hold back my tears, but I can no longer as I let out a long, loud sob, racking my form, the tears streamed more and more, a never ending flow of sadness and loneliness, lack of love and so much more, oh, so much more . . .

"Why?" I shouted through the tears, in between sobs,"Why must everyone leave me?"

I hugged my knees close to my chest, burying my face in them as I continued to sob. I shakily stood up drying my eyes only for them to be dampened again by more tears, though they were now silent tears as I had at least managed to silence my sobs.

I wearily began wobbling to the garden. Once I had managed to make my way to the garden, I seated myself at a stone bench I had placed in front of the bluebells. I stared blankly at the beautiful flowers, thinking of nothing, really. I had given up, I knew I'd never be loved, never cared for. No one would ever stay by me.

Quietly, I mumbled, "Never cared for, never loved, always hated, always judged . . ." I knew it was true, and I always had, I had just always chosen to ignore it and act as though I didn't notice, putting on a smile to hide the pain . . .

Silent tears began dripping down my chin once more, hitting the neatly placed stones beneath my feet. I don't understand what I did to deserve being left behind so much. Yes, I understand that here lately I've done bad things, but when I was a child, what could I have done then? What was it that began all of this? Is it karma biting me in the ass? If so, what did I do to cause it?

Giving up on such trivial, useless questions, I decided to go back to my blank thoughts, at least that way I couldn't be brought down anymore than I currently was.

Once again, I sat staring at the bluebells with a blank, expressionless face. The pain in the back of my skull had increased greatly, I'm guessing it's due to the sobbing. Hearing the sound of crunching leaves and occasionally the snap of a twig, I snapped my head up with a panicked expression to see who the culprit of such noises was, afraid it'd be someone who meant me harm, since I had no protection now, but also hopeful that it would be Claude or, hell, even Hannah coming back for me.

But, to my surprise, it was the person I would never have expected. Ciel Phantomhive and his butler, Sebastian Michealis, stood before me; Ciel, with his usual expressionless face and his butler with an oddly expressionless face as well, as though he had been deeply disappointed by something.

Ciel looked at me with what seemed to be determination, what it was he was determined to do, I hadn't the slightest idea.

"P-Phantomhive . . . ?" I asked in astonishment.