𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐜 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞

Chapter 7 | You're Not Alone

Sayaka P.O.V.

I can't breathe. I can't move. I can't do anything. I'm useless. I let this happen. I would do anything to go in his place. But it's too late for that. He's gone now. 

I'm useless.

I'm useless.

I'm useless. 

I'm useless.

I'm useless. 

I'm useless. 

I'm useless. 

I'm useless.

I'm useless. 

I'm useless.

I can't handle this. I watched him get dragged away. I lost consciousness during his execution. But everyone else watched. Someone must have carried me up here. I'm in my room now. They should have just left me. I'm weak anyways...

I'm weak.

I'm weak. 

I'm weak.

I'm weak.

I'm weak.

I'm weak.

I'm weak.

I'm weak.

I'm weak.

I'm weak.

Maybe I should just stay here. Yeah. That's fine. It feels like I've already been here forever. Maybe the others accepted it would be best if I just died in here. Maybe. Maybe I should... There's nothing left for me anyways. My friends are dead. My career is dead. The person I loved most is dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead. 

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead.

Dead. 

...

...

...

Useless.

Weak.

Dead.

These are the words I keep telling myself over and over again in my head. I look over to the monitor on my side. Monokuma's morning announcement is playing. There have been several of these. Meaning I've been in here for multiple days. All these days and I still only feel empty and alone. I sigh. I still can't find a reason to get up from my bed. I'll probably just die before I find one anyways.

I hear a knock on my door. I ignore it. Multiple people have tried to talk to me, but I just shut them out. Even Monokuma popped in for a bit, but only to mock me for feeling despair. I zone out again, but this time the knocks come back louder. What scared my is that they were reminiscent of the ones I had heard on that night.

The night where I slowly started to lose the rest of what I had left. Or at least, what I valued most. Perhaps I took it for granted. Regret fills my body. I should have said something to him. Him. I can't even bring myself to even think of his name. I'm startled again by more frantic knocking, this time followed by yelling. I recognize the voices of Chihiro and Junko.

Junko: "Hey! Come out! Sayaka!"

Chihiro: "P-please! It's been three days! You c-could die in there!"

I'm perfectly aware of that. But what's the point? The game is just going to continue. I'd probably just die either way... 

They continue to knock and shout for a bit, but then stop. At first, I thought they had finally given up. But then I heard someone else approach the door.

Kyoko: "Sayaka, I know you feel a great loss right now. Trust me, I do. But think now. Is this really what Makoto would have wanted?"

Of course not. But then again, he also wanted no deaths to come out of this killing game. Yet here we are. 

Kyoko: "He believed in you for a reason, Sayaka. You have to know that. He knew that you could overcome this. That may be one of the reasons why he took such a big risk. Because he knew how strong you are. I believe that was part of why he loved you. Or at least, that's what I analyzed. But normally I'm not incorrect when it comes to these sort of things..."

I can tell she's trying her best to be comforting. 

Kyoko: "You're not alone. And you shouldn't have to feel like you are."

I take in her words slowly. Makoto knew his plan was a risk but he took it anyways. And part of the reason he did it was for me.

Maybe...

Maybe I should at least honor his wishes. Whether or not it turns out well... at least he'll know that I tried. And I'll keep trying until I'm dead. 

I sit up on my bed. I know there's someone waiting for me outside of that door. And right now, that thought is actually quite comforting. Makoto promised me that not all relationships end in heartbreak. Even though, that's all I seem to know.  He also told me not to be afraid to rely on others. So I won't be.

I stand up and approach the door. But I stop to see what's on the floor next to me. His sweatshirt.  Then I bring myself back to an even more painful memory. When Makoto's execution started, a chain appeared around his neck to pull him away. But I wasn't ready to lose him yet. I did try. I grabbed him by the arm, but to no avail. His sweatshirt pulled off, but I still couldn't save him.

I look at it on the floor next to me. I sigh, and pick it up. This is all I have left of him other than memories. I decide to put it on. 

Then, I place my hand on the knob and open the door...