✧・゚: *✧・゚:*Snape's Secret Crush PART UNO*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

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Me: WE ARE IGNORING THE FACT THAT IT IS  ALREADY FEBRUARY 2022

Draco: dumb question but are you okay

Me: Specifically or just in general? because ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*No*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

BUT anyways today our next victim issssssssssss

THE ONE AND ONLY 👏SEVERUS👏TOBIAS👏SNAPE👏

Snape: éXCUSÉ? 

Me: TO BE FAIR you deserve it you're a major dick 

Fred: *whispering to George* not the only major dick around here

Me: sIR? wHAT?

Harry: I mean he's not wrong

Draco: How- what- Potter how exactly do you know that- wait don't answer I don't want to know

George: No you definitely do not but someone *glares in my direction* will make a whole chapter about it won't they?

Me: I wasn't going to BUT now that you said it I'm going to do it just to piss you off.

ANYWAYS GreaseFace Mcdickhead Magee over there *points at snape* mentioned a lil crush he has BUT before he could ruin it I cut him off and the wackos (affectionate) that find this book entertaining have suggested several possibilities ranging from *checks list* Harry styles? uh, wrong fandom but valid- all the way to uh *checks list again* Hagrid- Uhm ok valid but uh yah we're just gonna keep it at that.

ANYWHO we are going to figure out who it is by TORTURING SNAPE by going through EVERY SNAPE SHIP KNOWN TO MAN until we hit the jackpot STARTING WITH 


**✿❀SNARRY STYLES❀✿**


Ron: quick question whos harry styles 

Fred: yah seems like important information

Me: uh good question-

George: They don't know

Me: I DO I just know very minimal information about the guy jus wait a sec I gotta go google somethin

Me: I DO I just know very minimal information about the guy jus wait a sec I gotta go google somethin

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OTAY dis is le Harry styles, he's a muggle singer and dats all I know about him

Pansy: Looks like Potter if he were 14.527% more unhinged

Harry: HEY

Pansy: That was actually a compliment

Me: anyWAY yall know how this goes it ain't our first rodeo 

Ginny: You do realize we're all gonna ship it out of pure spite right 

Me: oh yah definitely. was planning on it. Any objections?

Voldemort: SO if I do try and kill potter I get to leave?

 Luna: Closet time for you! *pulls various people from past chapters out of the closet and pushes Voldemort in*

 Hermione: Hopefully one day I wake up and realize this is all one screwy fever dream 

Me: Mood but unlikely. Every day I realize I've been allowed to live another day so I make it literally everyone else's problem 

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