Pleasure in Pain [Student/Teacher]

Chapter 12

I am soooo sorry for the wait! So much shit going on in my life right now, it's been hard to update! Again, really sorry. But finally, here's a chapter! Will edit later. Enjoy :)

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To say I was nervous was a giant understatement. I was now at school by my locker debating on whether or not to skip Psychology class and head to the bathroom to do even more damage. My whole body was shaking, just thinking about having to go back to my house after school. I knew my father was beyond pissed, and I wasn't ready to face him. I still had to talk to Milly and see if he had called her, and if so, I prayed she covered for me. Jason had tried to comfort me the whole drive to school, but I had been very quiet. My mind was going crazy, every possible bad situation playing out, all ending with me hurting myself. I knew I needed to do it. I had been interrupted earlier.

I glanced up at the clock and noticed there were only two minutes left before first period started. I bit my lip and grabbed my bag, then headed in the opposite direction of class. Jason was probably going to know, but I couldn't let myself think about that. When the bathroom finally came into view, I picked up my pace and headed in. I made my way to the biggest stall and locked myself inside, set the toilet seat down, then sat on it. My phone buzzed in my bag, but I ignored it as I pulled up my sleeves. Too many scars and fresh cuts criss-crossed on my arms. I couldn't cut there. Too obvious.

Standing up, I pulled my pants off and looked at the fresh canvas. My thighs were clean, bare skin staring back at me. It gave me a sense of relief, but not enough to stop me. Reaching into my bag, I grabbed my blade and ran my finger along the edge; still sharp. Sitting back down, I pressed the cold piece of metal against my right thigh and tore through the skin, gazing in awe at the gaping wound before me. There was more fat on my thighs, which meant I could cut deeper, more pain, more blood. That satisfied me as I continued to cut. The blood flowed out easily, falling down onto the tiled floor, but I didn't care, I would clean it up after. I needed more.

The physical silence played a big role when it came me cutting. It allowed me to think about all the reasons I needed to cut, so I could get the job done. But as the pain surged through my body, those thoughts slowly calmed. It was nice. A distraction from the bad things in my life. But to anyone else, I would seem crazy. They'd look at my marks and laugh, call me attention-seeking. What they didn't understand was that I needed this.

When I finally stopped, fresh cuts covered half of my thigh. I felt relieved and relaxed as the blood trickled down, but I knew I had to clean it up, which was a depressing thought. I didn't let it get to me, though. Grabbing the toilet paper, I cleaned up my thigh first, using my water bottle to help wash it off. I then cleaned up the floor and threw the mess into the toilet, flushing the evidence away. The cuts were deep, and I knew they would continue to bleed if I didn't do anything to them.

Reaching into my bag, I grabbed a few nonstick pads and tape. I had to cover every single cut, praying they wouldn't seep through. Once I was finished, I carefully pulled up the sweatpants and put everything away. I walked out of the stall and walked towards the sink, taking out my phone while doing so. I had six text messages, four from Milly and two from Jason. My stomach dropped.

Milly -

Where are you??

Milly -

Lilly, your dad called me last night! I have to talk to you! Are you okay?

Milly - 

Girl you're missing some good stuff here. We're learning more history of psych >.> I'm so bored.

Milly -