Pleasure in Pain [Student/Teacher]

Chapter 8

I don't really like this chapter too much, buuuuuut the next chapter will definitely be more exciting ;)

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            My foot nervously tapped against my carpeted floor in my bedroom while my fingers held the tiny piece of paper in place. I was staring at Mr. Matthews’ number, contemplating on whether or not I should text him. If I did, I would have to tell him about my parents when not even Milly knew how strict they were. Or I’d have to make up a lie. I sighed in frustration and flew backwards on my bed.

            My mind was racing with thoughts. If I didn’t text him, what would happen? Surely nothing, probably just a small lecture, but he made it seem like so much more. I wanted to believe in the latter. The way he demanded things, the way his body moved so confidently, and everything else about him made me draw closer. I was curious, but attraction and longing took over.

            More thoughts consumed my mind, going back to the original ordeal. What if he told my parents? I would surely be distraught if that were to happen. Hurting myself was my secret, and now someone knew, a teacher nonetheless. It frustrated and confused me. I didn’t know how to handle it. I decided to text him, but sway in the middle of both choices.

            Me –

                        I don’t feel comfortable in telling someone, Mr. Matthews. It’s new territory for me.

            After hovering over the ‘send’ button for a few seconds, I finally tapped down quickly and threw my phone on the other side of my bed. I regretted texting him within the couple second gap. I wanted to take it back. Run to his house and erase it from his phone. I didn’t get too much time to think about it anymore before my phone buzzed. I nervously looked over to it, then reached out and grabbed it.

            Mr. Matthews –

                        Call me Jason. You can tell me, Lillian, I won’t judge.

            His text sent shivers throughout my whole body. It was a new feeling, knowing someone cared enough to actually pry a little. However, I still felt uncomfortable, so I tried changing the subject.

            Me –

                        Mr. Matthews? Sir? Jason? Which one do I call you?

            The question was random, but it still lingered in my mind. He was a confusing guy, and that made me want to know more. I was being slightly hypocritical, not answering his questions but thinking of ones to ask him and hoping he’d answer.

            Was what we were doing even right? I was sure texting or even calling a teacher in high school was illegal. The way he spoke to me was also questionable, but there was nothing running around in my mind that wanted to stop it. Not only my mind, but also my body. Mr. Matthews made me feel different, but a good different. My phone buzzed once again, so I picked it up.

            Mr. Matthews –

                        You’ll know when to call me what. And don’t try to change the subject, Lillian.

            What was that supposed to mean? Instead of giving me answers, he left me with more questions.

            Me –