06Diary|from every corner of my mind

My 15th

    I probably have the worst fifteen ever. Fifteen is supposed to be the age where you can go and hang out with your friend do something stupid together but because of the pandemic we rarely meet each other or never get to meet each other for a long period. Then who would have known that we will get to meet each other again at one of our friend's funerals? This is tragic no one prepared for this loss and it is because she decided to take away her own life. It's like we skip all of the processes in this life and go straight to the end. At the funeral, I could hardly breathe. It feels like everything just running through my mind rapidly. I didn't even know what I was thinking. During pray still seem to be nothing but the moment that I have to bow down in front of her tomb. I felt my heart drop to my stomach. Once that I realize that the person in the tomb is my friend. The worst feeling ever. Even when I'm not her close friend. Imagine how her family would feel like it's literally heartbroken. I wish her nothing but hope she doesn't regret the decision she made...

      Committed suicide is the worst thing to do to hurt yourself and people around you. Even when some people around you might seem to don't care about you but once that you're gone. They will realize that they should have spent more time with you and this is so sick when everyone doesn't know that what they had was precious until they lose it and can't never get it back. Anyway,other people shouldn't be a problem since we all were born alone and of course we die alone. In the end of the day ourselves is what we got. So just fuck everyone you don't have to care about what's other think or what they expect on you. You should know your own worth and other around you is just environment that you can choose.