Choices [ENG]

4.

"Do you want me to help you?" Tommy says, thinking he's talking to a newbie. In front of me, a target with hundreds of pistol and rifle shots. I load the shot and fire: center. "Woo!" Tommy exclaims surprised. "Was it luck or skill?" he asks. "What do you think?" I ask confident. I load again and shoot: center again shifted a little to the left. I make three more shots and then Tommy takes the gun out of my hands. "We understand that you are dangerous with one of these," she says with a smile and a wink. I smile back. "But," Tommy says, already breaking my enthusiasm. "You tend to aim from below ...". "Yes, I know; my instructor always told me, perhaps because I'm used to shooting with a bow .." I say. Tommy adopts a tone I've never heard. "Ah sure! It is certainly what influenced you in the pursuit of aiming. Did you often use the bow?" He asks. I nod. "Why, if I may ask you?" He continues as we walk towards the cafeteria for lunch. "The training of the Fireflies started right from the bow because even if you did not become a shooter, the bow was a must for the hunt" I continue, realizing that I have said more things about me at that moment than in the whole month I've been here. "I understand, so your friends could shoot well too," Tommy continues but this time he really went further. I nod unconvinced. He realizes he has crossed the line and remains silent.

He keeps the door to the cafeteria open for me but now I can handle it well with my leg. We get something to eat and go to a table where Maria and Joel are sitting. I see a few tables beyond, the group from last night; there really are all: Jesse, Ellie, Dina, those two pain in the ass Nick and Austin and those two guys I spoke to a few weeks ago, Glenn and Allison, I think. They are all cheerful and joking with each other. Seeing my blank stare, Tommy asks me if everything is okay. I nod and focus on my food. Tommy and Maria keep talking about everything that is happening these days. They seem to have spotted more infected than usual in the area. "How's your training going?" Joel unexpectedly asks me, who is sitting across from me. "Good" I reply. "I guess you already had experience with weapons" continues Joel trying to strike up a button. "Um yes ... The Fireflies trained us well" I continue between a bite and another. Joel nods. "Can I ask you how old you are?" He asks me after a while. I look up and look at his face. He gives me a lot of tenderness. I think he is a man who has suffered a lot, like all of us in the end but he has that light of love and goodness that shines in his eyes. Accompanied by these thoughts, I answer "Sixteen". Joel smiles as if he has achieved a great goal. I suddenly feel too exposed and look down. "Many of the boys and girls here are about your age, you will have a maximum of 3 years difference, like Ellie who is 19". I nod without looking up from my plate. "How's the leg?" Suddenly Maria asks. Fuck, how many questions today! It's not that if I started talking a bit, it means I always want to do it.

Despite these thoughts of mine, I don't think it's right to point this out to Maria. "Very ... well" I say really uncertain and distracted. Maria tries to smile. How much I'd like to say her to go to hell ... "Tommy told me you're good with the gun," he continues. I nod. "Let's try the rifle tomorrow, see if you can compete with Jackson's sniper," Tommy says, setting the plate on his tray. Silence falls on the table. "And who would that be, sorry?" Joel asks confused. "Me..?" Tommy continues. Joel and Maria burst out laughing. The atmosphere seems a lot calmer than I remembered, or else I never really noticed. "Look, if we always entrust you with the outpost on the mountain, it doesn't mean that you are an excellent sniper, but simply because nobody ever wants to go there," says Maria between laughter. Tommy seems to have taken offense, but then he bursts out laughing too. "I'll remember this! My dear brother and my beloved wife teasing me," Tommy says wryly. He gestures for me to get up and after taking the tray, he always walks away with a smile on his lips. "Were they serious or not?" I ask as we walk to the exit. "I don't know, but I know they always enjoy taking the piss out of me," Tommy says. "Well, come on, I'm known for being an excellent sniper! Joel can't even handle a rifle!" It continues more with itself than with me.