Drarry - It Was All Just a Game (REWRITE - MATURE VERSION)

CHAPTER 54 - GOLD STARS

TW: PTSD, Eating disorder-anorexia; will be present and mentioned throughout the rest of the book and does turn severe; Harry does seek treatment for it.

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Harry's saving grace was the calming draught—though it only worked so much, and as weeks passed, he found himself having to take a higher and higher dose in desperation.

Because weeks passed.

Weeks.

Weeks of guilt and self hatred—if only he'd just run back home, said bye, and left. If only he wouldn't have even come—he should've just ignored Ron and gone without even telling him. If only he hadn't eaten.

If only he hadn't eaten.

Because that's what always caused him so much harm. Didn't it?

If he wouldn't have stayed to eat, Harry would have stopped Kingsley.

Two days after Draco was kidnapped—because he was fucking kidnapped and no one could convince Harry otherwise—Harry realized there was a way to see Draco.

"Somnium Amica Mea!"

But when Harry appeared, he only saw a blurry wall of different shades of darkness, the only differentiator being a small sight of white. Draco's hair.

"Draco," he shouted, putting his hand to the wall, but his own voice came muffled. He banged on it several times. "Draco, it's me, let me in! Draco, no!"

It felt so cold and dark and awful.

"Please, I'm here, Draco. I'm here for you!"

Harry woke himself up, a wave of nausea overcoming him as he stood. Anxiety flooded his veins, which was a normal thing nowadays.

"Mate, you okay?" Ron shot out of bed and stood next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't get to him, I can't... It was how I communicated with him during the war. We just used this spell, and we got to talk. I-I think he's using Occlumency. He doesn't want me to see in."

"Are you using Legilimency?"

"No, just this spell he found." Harry wiped face.

"Is it Dark Magic?"

Harry sneered up at him. "No." Then he continued to pace. "I have a bad feeling. Such a bad feeling."

"He can't go anywhere. I mean, he's in the holding cells probably, he can't go missing."

"Yeah, with murderers, people who tortured him, people who he watched murder families—totally safe, Ron!"

"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that it's not like he's missing or kidnapped."

Harry knew what Ron actually wanted to say. Or dead. Like Fred.

Harry dialed himself back. "I'm just scared something bad is going to happen to him. I feel sick."

"It'll be okay."

"When is the next time I'm going to see him? W-When's—how long is he going to be there?"

When would be the next time they share a bed? The next time they kiss and hug?

Will Draco ever leave Azkaban?

When will they get to feel at peace again?

Will they get to feel at peace again?

Those thought brought him no comfort as the weeks carried on.