Drarry - It Was All Just a Game (REWRITE - MATURE VERSION)

CHAPTER 73 - THE LOCKER ROOM

When Draco woke, Harry was staring at the ceiling, changing expressions as he thought and thought and thoughts.

"You okay," Draco whispered, rolling over. He yawned.

Harry snapped out of it. He took an annoyed breath. "Last night was nice. I want to do it again. In fact, I want to do it all the time until the stupid voice in my head just shuts up about it."

Draco reached out and pushed some of Harry's bedhead hair behind his ear. "Just let it be, Harry. All suffering comes from what we resist."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Merlin himself."

"Just trying to help."

"I don't want your help right now. I want you to listen."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Draco said, snuggling into his pillow more and pulling his blanket up over his shoulder.

"I'm just annoyed. I should be able to enjoy being with my boyfriend of almost four years without feeling bad about it—I don't feel bad about it. It was great."

"You just have a mental illness," Draco said.

"Yeah. And visualizing it as Umbridge helps. But I'm just sick of this voice constantly there. It's exhausting. It never goes away. It's smaller but... still annoying."

Draco didn't say anything, but continued to listen as Harry ranted and ranted for over twenty minutes, letting his frustration out, and then Harry said, "You know how this all started?"

"How?"

"I was debating what time to wake you up so I could factor in how long we could kiss before class."

"That's nice," Draco said.

"And then the voice was like, no, you don't deserve him and blah blah blah and it's stupid because I know better." Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

"We don't have to. Kiss, if you're not in the mood. I didn't realize how hard being in a relationship and both being in treatment would be."

"How so?"

"The balance of it. I don't ever want anything we do to send you backwards. I'm scared of that. And I'm scared of that happening to me, as well."

"Do you want to stop?"

"No. Because I need that love, too. I want that love. It gives me meaning. And maybe we should have other meaning but, I think our situation is unique. We just need to keep an open mind and keep talking. Like we have been. It's been working. I just don't want to trigger you."

"You won't," Harry said. "Umbitch will. And you bring me happiness, it's gonna hate anything that comes from you." Harry licked his lips. "I want to keep doing what we were doing. I have to keep going down the path of love. I can't listen to that voice. Ever. It's a liar, and it wants me to suffer and take away everything I love to do away from me."

Draco nodded. "So, what are you waiting for? Kiss me good morning before class."

Harry looked at him. And then he climbed forward and grabbed the back of Draco's neck as he dove into a kiss. And it was warm and inviting and lovely. It was everything that Harry's disorder hated, and it made Harry kiss him more.

He rolled on top of Draco and Draco opened his mouth so their tongues could brush, morning breath be damned.

Harry gave him several more kissed before he pulled back. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Draco smiled, reaching for one more kiss, which Harry let him have.

Harry looked into his eyes as Draco brought his arms around Harry's back, a bit worried that it might bother him, and Harry saw the question in his eyes.