The Kraut in Hell {rewrite} (Helluva Boss Loona x Reader)

Prologue

Y/N POV
I'm standing in line at the enlistment office in Munich. The date is July 29th 1914. As I wait, I jovially chat with the guy behind me, a man from Austria-Hungary. He seems nice enough. He's bone thin, looks like he just got off from the street. I ask.

Y/N: Ich muss fragen, wie heißt du?

Austrian man: Adolf Hitler

Y/N: Ich bin Y/N, schön, dich kennenzulernen.

Adolf: Ich kann dasselbe für dich sagen.

We chat, he seems like a good guy, kinda racist, but then again most people are. (Remember, this is 1914, racism is widespread) The fellow Bavarian in front of me asks

Bavarian citizen: Aren't you Ludwig III's grandson?

Y/N: Ugh, don't remind me.

Adolf: You could be a General and you're opting for a Grunt?

Y/N: I don't want the pomp and circumstance, I just want to serve my kingdom and country.

Bavarian citizen: But, you could

Y/N: Listen, I just want to kill a few French bastards and call it a day, okay?

Adolf: Jeez bro, chill out.

Y/N: Sorry. It's just been a long week and this is my excuse to get away from my life.

Bavarian citizen 1: I agree with you there bud

Adolf: Ja, I'm just getting off the streets.

The man in front of me gets called in. I'm counting my lucky stars the enlistment officer doesn't recognize me. I relax, trying to stay calm, my head buzzing. Suddenly, my mind is dragged from my musings by a familiar girl's voice. Angela Siesmalnächt, my girlfriend. She screams happily.

Angela: N/N! N/N! Hi!

Y/N: Annie!

She runs up and hugs me. I hug back, happy she came to see me.

Y/N: I didn't think you'd come all the way from Berlin to see me!

Angela: Of course you goof, I love you!

Y/N: I love you honey.

Angela: I love you too, goober.

Y/N: It's good to finally see you again

Angela: Yeah!

Adolf: eyeroll

She pulled her face back and kissed me, not a childish "I missed you" a passionate "I missed you" kiss. I kissed back. Soon the recruiter yells out the door.

Recruiter: NEXT

Y/N: Shit, I'm up hon

Angela: ok, I'll be waiting for you out here

Y/N: okay

I walk in, getting all the paperwork signed and such, and getting my day's ration money. I say the oath. (Author's note: it is surprisingly difficult to find WW1 German military enlistment procedures) when I walk out, Angela jumps onto my back.

Angela: On you glorious Bavarian Bastard!

Y/N: Yes my Prussian Princess!

I run out of town with her on my back, running down the dirty side roads home. We get to the small town home, one she hadn't seen since last year. I smile, she's laughing her ass off as I tell jokes.

Y/N: What does a house wear?

Angela: I don't know, what does a house wear?

Y/N: Ad-dress!

Angela: Hah!

Y/N: What time did the Tooth go to the dentist?

Angela: When?

Y/N: Tooth hurty!

Angela: That was just bad and you know it

Y/N: Yep!

Angela: You're a goober, but I love you for it anyways

Y/N: Sorry I can't come to Prussia to visit you

Angela: Honey it's fine, with your dad and stepdad treating your family the way they did/are, I know your family is strapped for cash. I wish that King Ludwig would actually do something for you guys.

Y/N: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which fills up first.

Angela: Heh.

Y/N: Well we're here.

We stood outside the small farm house, my brothers Jakob and Fritz polishing some old Dirty boots stepdad left on the porch. I yell over

Y/N: Fritz and Jakob, Angela's here!

Jakob: Ach it's the Old Pip squeak and her goober!

Angela: Oh it's good to see you Jakob!

Fritz: What am I? Chopped liver?

Angela: Hi Fritz, how're you?

Fritz: Great! Just got back from the Enlistment office a few hours ago!

Jakob: As well as I.

Angela: My favorite Bastards!(1)

Jakob: Anyways, let's get inside then we can catch up over dinner

We all go inside laughing, and eat a wonderful meal prepared by mom.

Chapter End

(1): term for a person out of wedlock