Let It Burn

Chapter 38

Lorenzo's POV

I let out a little laugh before pulling away from her embrace.

"How many times did you try?" She asks.

I sit down on the wet ground and she does the same, not caring about getting dirty at this point.

"Once, and I promised myself to never do it again. I was so close Val...and that's when I realized there is so much more my mom would want me to accomplish. After that one night, I became a completely different person."

"I'm sorry that no one was there to remind you of how amazing you are," she says.

I am surprised by her statement.

For once, it seemed like she was not thinking of what was coming out of her mouth anymore. It's like she decided to speak from the heart.

And I'm not complaining.

Her saying she thinks I am an amazing person made my heart fill with a strange feeling... a mix of proudness and excitement.

"Your turn" I smile, exaggerating my dimples as I know she can't resist it.

"Lorenzo-"

"You called me Enzo for the first time since we fell apart, so I think you can keep it that way. I prefer it when you call me by my nickname" I state.

Ever since that argument we had about her past, in which I instinctively called her Val, I kept calling her that way as it felt more personal.

And I've been waiting for the moment she would do the same with me.

She sighs, looking confused and exhausted.

I know I always claimed that I wanted things to be back the way they were, but we both know we're lying to ourselves.

We say we're friends but we were friends that looked at each other for longer than they should've.

We were friends that wouldn't move our knees away when they touched.

We were friends that would think the world of each other.

Her silence is torture, I don't want to pressure her into telling me anything, but so many questions have been running through my ming and I would like at least a little clue that could help me ease myself.

"It was that son of a bitch right? Xavier?" I suddenly ask, growing impatient.

Her expression goes blank, as if her mind just drifted away.

Some slight rain starts pouring again and I let the  drops stroke my face

"Why does it even matter?" She asks looking up, letting her tears get mixed with the rain.

"It matters to me Valeria! As long as it concerns you, it concerns me too. No one should get to hurt you and live to tell about it!"

"Yes! Yes it was him! But no one can do anything about it because he is motherfucking Xavier and I don't understand why you want to know about it so bad!"

"BECAUSE I FUCKING CARE ! I wish I didn't but that's how it is! I have tried to change... I've tried to get that strange feeling out but I can't ! You are the only thing on my mind and it hurts ! It hurts because I know it shouldn't be that way! " I shout getting up.

"I-" she tries to answer, but I cut her off quickly.

"NO ! Let me finish ! This has been on my mind for way too long now ! Every single time I hear your laugh, I fall more. Every time I see you training, I am more amazed. Every time you put a man back at his place, I feel proud. I fell with your courage, your sincerity, and your flaming self respect. Everything about you drives me crazy and I hate it because it makes me feel vulnerable but I am tired of fighting something stronger than me... stronger than us. Every time I see you I swear I couldn't love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow. I am falling in love with you and it's scary... but it's a fear I am willing to fight'' I  explain trying to catch my breath, not minding the cool rain still pouring down our faces.