Four/Tobias Eaton Imagines

Sudden Changes (Part Three)

Just like that, it begins- your chance to finally fight back against Jeanine and the faction system, the rules that kept everyone in check except the faction leaders. Truth be told, you weren't entirely sure what this meant for you, how it would change your daily life or what would be expected of you. Four, however, appears to have a plan, or at least the last few vestiges of a cohesive thought that just might save the two of you from being caught in a lie.

He's Divergent, which explains why he wants to learn about what Jeanine is planning for the factions. You want to get rid of the weight on your chest, the voice whispering in the back of your head that both wants you to do something about what you know and to keep lying low and make it out alive. You've been caught in a tricky situation: if you say a word to anyone, you could be killed. However, if you stay silent, you just might be killed anyway. In the end, everything comes down to Jeanine and her plans. Then again, what doesn't?

The first thing you can do is try to figure out what Jeanine wants in the first place. You revisit your fear landscape multiple times over the course of the initiation, and Four makes sure to be there with you every time you go under, both for your safety and to learn more from what you saw. Whenever you face that fear, he jots down a couple of notes. The people in the back had diagrams of a brain, the group in the front were discussing diagrams of Erudite, Abnegation, and Dauntless.

The only problem is that, well, it's all in your head. The two of you figured out pretty quickly that your memory of your fears won't be the most perfect resource- with every playback and trip through the fear landscapes, something changes. This makes sense, as the fear landscapes were never created to revisit memories, just to scare you into standing up for yourself. The landscapes won't be quite the same every time, even if that's what you need.

It's exhausting to keep going through your fear landscape, to keep revisiting the very day that still has an icy grip over you. Four, however, is there for you every time, making sure you're alright. You keep your fear landscape visits to the scheduled hours that every other initiate goes through, but you can't pretend that your training sessions are a little more intense. You have to try your hardest to remember every detail, to live with your fears for as long as possible so you can remember everything in that room. It's exhausting, and strenuous, but it's the only way forward.

That being said, you still have to be able to pass the test in flying colors at the end of training. To make things worse, Four comes to you late one night, when you're just trying to walk back to the initiates' quarters after dinner. He pulls you aside into an empty room as soon as no one is watching, and you can't pretend that you're not nervous when you see the look on his face. You don't think you've seen him this anxious in a long time, if ever.

"What is it? What happened?" Four sighs, raking a hand through his hair as if the simple motion can get rid of the source of his worries. "I just found out that there's a change to the final fear landscape session. Usually, you'll do it in front of one or two Dauntless officials, just to make sure that you're not lying your way through it, but Jeanine just put in a request to see it as well. There's no reason for them to deny her, so she's going to be there."

You feel like you're going to be sick. "So, in less than a week, Jeanine is going to be here and watch me go through my fear landscape in front of everybody. Four, if she sees my fear, she'll kill me. There's no doubt about that. I don't know if I can hide it in time." Four takes your hand, forcing your gaze back to him. "You can do it. I know you can. It'll take effort, and you'll have to think of some way to push it from your head, but you will. You'll have to."

You sigh. "Do you think you have everything you need from my memories of it? If I start to get rid of the fear from my landscape like you said, I may not be able to revisit it during training." Four nods. "I think we're all good on that account. Actually, this weekend I'd like you to drop by the room. We're going to go over everything we know and try to make sense of it." Raised voices echo through the nearby hallways, and you freeze for a second, silent until you're sure that nobody else knows you're there.