Synopsis:
A birthday fic to commemorate the mackerel's birthday.
Dazai woke up alone in their shared apartment but there's no sign of his tacky hat anywhere.
XXX
Dazai groaned as he searched for the chibi on his bed. He aimlessly extend his hand in hope he could cuddle for a few more minutes before they woke up but to no avail. He slowly opened his eyes, immediately realized that Chuuya was long awake. He reached out for his pillow, bathing in his scent as he tried to lull himself back to sleep.
"Chuu..yaaa.." he quietly whispered his name, hoping some force will made its way and bring Chuuya back to him though he knows that's not possible. Tossing and turning on the bed, finally he decided to wake up.
His bandages were wrapped loose against his neck. He scanned the room. It's awfully quiet. Too quiet for his own liking.
He glanced at the clock nearby. It's only 8 in the morning. Too early. He should be able to sleep for another two hours or so. He decided against that, for he wanted his chibi to stay beside him if he ever want to sleep.
After minutes of pondering, he rise up and walked to the living room. There's no sign of him anywhere. Is he out?
Dazai immediately saw a piece of post-it note attached on the dining table. There's also a plate of omurice wrapped in a plastic wrapper.
'I'll be out for a while.' Is what the note says.
Dazai frowned. He didn't hear anything from him yesterday. What could he possibly do for him to not leave with a goodbye kiss or anything. He looked back at the omurice on the table. Well, he has no right to complain.
Ever since they move in together, Chuuya tried his very best to make sure Dazai had a proper diet instead of wasting his health away with canned crabs and sake. Dazai appreciate the gesture, especially when he make quite a decent meal everytime. Though they often argue over the incovenience.
He quietly ate his meal before settling himself on the couch. It's quiet without him here. He pulled his legs together, resting his face on his knees. He tried watching the TV but there's obviously nothing to watch. He tried reading a book but it's too far away for him to reach.
He just laying there, aimlessly wondering where and when will Chuuya come back.
It's already afternoon.
He heard the sound of the front door open. "I'm home."
The familiar voice rang through Dazai's ear. He looked at Chuuya small figure strodding into the living room.
"Where have you been, Chuuya? Thought today is your day off." And he just wanted to snuggle and just spend time with him all day, but it looks like that's not the case for Chuuya.
"I'm just going out to buy some stuff and also drop by Ane-san's place. What?? Do you miss me that much?" He put all the bags he carried on the kitchen counter.
Dazai slowly nodded which earned a chuckle from the other man."What's with you today?"
"Don't know. Today just feels lonelier."
"C'mere" Chuuya extends his hands which Dazai took it. Both embraced into a hug.
Now it feels right. With Chuuya's small body perfectly fit into his arms. His soft hair tickling his face. His scent that he came to love and yearn. Everything feels perfect now.
However, Chuuya quickly broke the hug which earn a pout from him. Chuuya ignored it and head back to the kitchen counter. "Hey, you know why I'm out?"
"So you can leave me alone today."
Chuuya ruffles his hair in annoyance. Not good. He's on with that annoying puppy face again. He carefully opened one of the bags containing a box. Inside is a cake, in which Dazai peered from afar.
That's when he remembered. Ahh, today's his birthday.
He never actually cared though. For all his life, he dreaded the day the most. The day he was brought upon into this cold, harsh world. The day he felt lonelier than ever. The day he felt sicker than ever. The day he want to kill himself more than ever. Tragedies fallen on this day was fairly a grim reminder that his very existence was and always a curse for someone.
But now, at this moment, he was greeted by a gentle warmth. Seeing Chuuya lit up the candles gave him a sense of security, a normal feeling that everyone feels. Contentment.
Chuuya brought out the cake, gingerly smiled at him as he hold out to him. Dazai take it. It's small but full of icing and pretty decorations. A small happy birthday written at the top with some drawings of his face and a big mackerel drawn at the sides.
"I've made it myself." Chuuya declared, proudly before he let off that smirk of his as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, Ane-san did help a bit."
Chuuya looked at Dazai, begging for his reaction."What do you think? It turned out pretty well, huh?"
Dazai was speechless and Chuuya took it as a sign that he was happy about it. Gently, Chuuya took one of his hand and kiss it.
"I know you hate birthdays. I know you've gone through a lot on this day. I know. But for me, this day is a blessing, for it brought me a person I come to love for the rest of my life.." Dazai was silent and Chuuya continued. "Thank you for being born."
Dazai was overwhelmed. Full of emotion he can't even describe. Emotions he rarely feel. Almost everything come and crush him. 'Thank you for being born.' A word not meant to be directed to him, and yet it did.
"Wait, are you crying?"
"Huh?" He raised his fingers to his eyes. Sure enough, he can feel the hot liquid slowly sliding down his cheeks.
"Really? You crybaby"
"Shut up, slug."
Chuuya gestures for him to make a wish and blows the candles. Dazai just blows the candles and Chuuya just stood there confused.
"My wish had long come true." He smiled.
At this very moment, he was content. Even if it's only a fleeting moment. It gave him a chance. A chance for him to be happy that he's alive. That someone's actually care that he's alive.
He put the cake back to the kitchen counter. This time, he's the one pulling Chuuya into an embrace.
Dazai's heart beats a little faster than normal. Well, it always is when Chuuya is around. He brushed his soft red locks, revealing the clear azure eyes, drowning himself in his quiet, gentle gaze. the brightness of it lights up his entire world. His face reflected his loving smile and Chuuya smiled.
Dazai dived his lips into his, catching the other off guard but he immediately responded to his kiss. Slowly, they pulled themselves closer to each other, enveloping the other's warmth, slow as if time stops itself between them. As if they are the only people in this world. Silent and comforting.
They pulled back and Chuuya managed to say.
"Happy birthday Osamu."
