Bloodstream • Lipsoul

Deadliest Sins

Haseul hasn't asked for much in her 17 years of life.

Well, that's mainly because everything has been handed to her.

Her parents almost completely erased the word 'no' from their vernacular when Haseul was just a toddler. While she was an only child, of course she was going to be spoiled to the high heavens. After Yeojin came along, she was doted on less but still showered in praise and gifts from her parents. They're quite wealthy, after all. Haseul loves to be spoiled, but she knows to not take it for granted. She knows to pay her parents back however she can. She's always received the best grades in school, always basking in praise from her parents and teachers alike. Since she's a go-getter, she's had no problems making friends and blossoming into a social butterfly. Hardworking, sociable and beautiful to boot.

On paper, Jo Haseul seems like the perfect student, the perfect daughter.

However, everyone has to have their flaws.

Sure, Haseul can be seen as vain. She's rich, she's gorgeous, she has everything she wants. Well, almost everything.

Haseul knows she's lucky to have her parents fully support her sexuality. She was a bit nervous to come out to them, though she knew for the most part that her family wouldn't disown her. She's their eldest, and she knows they're more than proud of her academic performance and how she is a person. She never knew if they had marriage plans for her but she was very relieved to find out that they don't. So, she's free to be who she is.

The problem is finding someone who she can be who she is with.

Around middle school, she met Sooyoung.

Haseul remembers almost being blinded by Sooyoung's dazzling smile. The two met in one of her afternoon classes, when Sooyoung promptly approached Haseul with "Hi, you're really pretty and probably super smart, I'd like to be your friend! Also help me with this, please?" While Sooyoung always had... a certain way with her words, she has always had great charisma and a gravitational pull around her. Since then, the two have become best friends. Haseul found out pretty early on that Sooyoung is gay too, and was very happy to find that out. Though Haseul admittedly had a small crush on Sooyoung, she knew they'd be better off as close friends.

Before Sooyoung, there was Jeong Jinsol.

Jinsol and Haseul's relationship was less organic than Sooyoung and Haseul's relationship. Whereas Sooyoung bombarded Haseul in their 7th grade biology class, Jinsol and Haseul were arranged to meet. Their parents have been friends for years and years, apparently. Being in the same small neighborhood in the suburbs and going to the same church will do that to you. Since they're the same age, she and Jinsol were around each other as babies, and grew up together. There have been countless playdates and times where the two have had to be together at church.

Haseul shares two things in common with Jinsol: her class status and her faith.

That's about it.

There is an obvious third: their sexuality. But that's where one of her gripes with Jinsol comes in. Jinsol is of course an objectively good person; she tries to be, of course. Haseul has admired how dedicated she is to their faith, and admires how she is also strong academically and tries to do the best for her family.

What Haseul dislikes about Jinsol is her inability to communicate her emotions well. That and how Jinsol is probably using God to hide in the closet for eternity.

Haseul knows she herself isn't perfect but goodness, can't Jinsol try a little harder? She knows that Jinsol is gay, she's seen and.. experienced Jinsol's feelings on the matter. But she won't dwell on that latter part any more than the few years she has been. She's not a fan of Jinsol's unpredictable emotions, nor the fact that she's unable to tell even her best friends the truth. Haseul and Sooyoung are also devout catholics and open about their sexuality with each other, why can't Jinsol be? It would be better if she just gave it to them straight instead of freaking out and taking her emotions out on other people, it's more than pathetic to Haseul at this point.