Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

44. Being of use

*** Trigger warning: mentions of rape ***

When I had dressed in my regular clothes again and Ash had packed the toys in his bag the door to the club opened again and the guy with the mask walked into the locker room. It was strange being in normal clothing when he was still dressed as when I had met him in the private session room. The knowledge of what he had seen, what he had done to me made it even more weird.

"Thanks for a good session," Ash said and smiled at him. "You did just as good as you told me you would."

"I told you I'm in it for the sessions, nothing else," the guy grinned and pulled his mask off. "What's yours, is yours."

I froze as I saw his face. I knew that smile from the night at Florian's house. Simon. Had Ash known it was him? He must have. Embarrassed, I nodded at Simon, and we went towards the exit.

"Just call if you want me on any further sessions," Simon said cheerfully, and Ash nodded back at him as we exited the room.

Despite the run-in with Simon, I couldn't shake the feeling of pure and crazy joy. It tingled like tiny bells inside every cell as soon as I laid eyes on Ash. He didn't seem to want to let go of me at all and the only time we were physically separated was when I had to go to the toilet. We had played video games curled up together, brushed our teeth holding hands and now we were under the covers with our legs tangled together.

"I feel like a damn teenage girl," Ash giggled. "Is it supposed to be like this? I mean, I feel fucking embarrassed, but I can't help it."

"I think it's part of it, I know how my sister was like every time she met someone," I said. "You knew it was him, right?"

I suddenly felt like bringing up the subject. I just had to know. Ash didn't answer right away. He drew circles on my back with his finger and looked intently at me for a while. I waited him out.

"I found out when I went out and talked to him," he said at last.

"I thought you didn't like him?" I said hesitantly. "Why... didn't you tell me who it was?"

"It was just when I thought he flirted with you that I didn't like him. Otherwise, I don't really have an opinion about him. But he's good with knives, that much I know. And I wanted to give you... an experience out of the ordinary. But I thought that if you knew who it was, you'd be more reluctant to try. Are you mad at me for not telling you?"

He looked so worried that I pulled him in closer to me to show that I wasn't angry with him. He had just wanted me to enjoy it, without thinking too much about my surroundings, I knew that. The fact that it had been Simon still felt a bit awkward, but I hadn't regretted it one bit. Nothing Ash had done to me had ever been unpleasant.

"They only thing that would make me mad right now is if we were to be late for work tomorrow," I smiled. "Are you happy with your day?"

He rolled over and rested his arms on either side of my head and kissed me slowly. His wonderful warmth radiated into me, and I caressed the small of his back.

"Best day so far," he murmured and suddenly he started to grind himself against me, grinning fiendishly. "So good that I might just risk getting you mad anyway."

***

Nothing could stop me from making remarks all the way to work the next day, every time Ash yawned. It was completely his own doing, not being able to keep his hands above the covers last night and I had way too much fun teasing him about it. Not that I was more alert, but he had started it. I had to pay for my glee though, in a way that I didn't expect. I simply couldn't work sitting down. At all. No matter how comfortable my office chair usually was, now it felt more like an instrument of torture. Silently I thanked the HR department for their decision that everybody should have desks that were adjustable, so I started my workday standing up.