Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

50. Circumstances

Author's note: At the beginning of a chapter? What? Yes. The following chapters will contain some situations that might not be accurate if you compare them to reality. I am well aware of that. But this is a work of fiction. Just want to clarify that, so no one gets confused. ^o^

***

Simon went home an hour later, after borrowing my shower. He had just laughed when I asked if he was ok with what had happened. Apparently, he had been quite serious when he talked about how he was usually very principled when it came to sessions, especially if there was more than one person involved as there could be uncomfortable situations and jealousy. But he hadn't felt any hesitation when it came to us, at least not after we had boozed him up, as he said.

"You're hereby excluded from that rule. So, if you feel like doing it again, you have my number."

"Told you we're a good team," Ash grinned as we stood in the hallway to say goodbye.

Simon pointed at his own head and then at Ash and grinned back and then he left. We went back to the bedroom and made up the bed and at last we were hugging each other under the covers. Ash looked at me in wonder, as if to make sure I was really lying next to him.

"What is it?" I said in a low voice.

"I just get so fascinated sometimes," he mumbled. "That it's possible to feel like this. Shit, I sound so fucking ridiculous, but I just don't get it. When I first saw you, this wasn't what I thought would happen. This wasn't in my world even. Not what happened tonight either, by the way."

I looked at him in surprise. Wasn't he the slut in the room?

"Don't tell me you haven't had a threesome before?" I said in amazement.

He laughed and pulled me closer to him.

"Now we said we wouldn't talk details, but yes of course I've had it, but not like this... I've always been in Simon's shoes, if you know what I mean. Never thought I'd be able to if I was in a relationship. Thought I'd be way too jealous."

"Then why did you suggest it?" I said, suddenly worried that he was having second thoughts.

"Because I trust you," he smiled. "And because I had a good feeling about Simon. And because I wanted to see you experience it. I have to say that... I'd love to do it again. If you want to?"

I realized at once that I hardly knew if I would dare do it again, sober. It would be like doing it for the first time all over again. But one thing was certain. I had enjoyed it. Almost more than I was willing to admit.

"I might want to, yeah," I said with pretended vagueness, and in a second I had Ash all over me.

"My naughty little kitten," he growled in my ear and pulled the covers over our heads.

"Hey, we need to sleep," I half protested.

"We can do that another day."

***

I sat at work with a goofy smile on my face during the following days and work went almost on autopilot. That feeling that the job was important was no longer there, the job was just something that had to be done in order to do other things. Even Chris had pointed out my changed attitude, that I was actually more engaged in what he was talking about when we had lunch, that I wasn't just sitting around dreaming myself away. That I was actually contributing to the conversation. Granted, he eventually had to tell me to maybe talk about something other than Ash, but still.

It was as if Ash and I had never lived apart. Having him living with me felt so natural and I marveled at how easily my single-minded brain adapted to having someone else around all the time. I had thought that at some point I would feel exhausted, but that never happened.