Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

58. Normal is just a word

The café opposite Cupid's Den was cozy, with old worn couches and armchairs in different colors, lots of small lamps that gave a gentle glow and soft music in the background. We sat down so that we were overlooking the window and Ash insisted on treating both me and Simon, so when he came back with the tray, he had a pot of coffee and three giant pieces of cake. He just grinned as Simon looked in shock at the piece of cake in front of him, but I could see him occasionally glancing at his phone. Even though we may have managed to get him out of the destructive train of thought, the fact still remained. And I assumed he was hoping for a sign of life from Nathan.

"First time I've ever gotten cake as a thank you for a blowjob," Simon said, grinning as he licked cream off his index finger.

"That wasn't a blowjob," Ash said emphatically. "That was a fucking revelation. An intervention."

"Thank Jamie," Simon smiled at me. "Without him, it wouldn't have worked at all."

I opened my mouth to protest, since I hadn't come up with the idea for the distraction, but then Ash put a finger over my mouth and looked at me seriously.

"No, not a peep," he said. "Simon's absolutely right. If it wasn't for you, I'd be in a police car right now. And if someone else had said that to me, I probably wouldn't have cared at all. So, thank you."

He brushed his finger across my lips, and I suddenly realized that I was probably the only one he really listened to. Even though he didn't always do exactly as I wanted, he did listen. And in this case, he had listened to me, and I was very happy about that. It would have been either that or try to get him so drunk he couldn't do anything.

"But I'm not taking credit for ingenuity," I grinned wryly and took a bite of the cake to keep them from seeing the redness that was annoyingly making its way up my cheeks. "That one's on you, Simon."

Simon stretched his chest proudly. Then we ate in silence for a little while, it was as if everyone suddenly had something to think about and in my own head the events in the booth were spinning faster and faster. It wasn't that I regretted what had happened, quite the opposite, I had enjoyed it more than I thought I would. But it felt like some kind of line had been crossed and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was. That paranoid voice inside me, constantly reminding me of what was normal and what wasn't had been quiet for a long time, but now something was buzzing anyway.

Is this normal? What is really normal?

I tried to remind myself of what Ash had said, that as long as we were adults and didn't force each other to do anything, we could do whatever we wanted. The problem wasn't really that. If there was a problem at all. I wanted to talk to Ash myself, I finally realized. I needed to talk to him about Simon. What had happened. If anything had happened. Maybe I was just being myself and over-analyzing everything.

Ash picked up his phone, which until now he had left face down on the table. He drew a slow breath and frowned. I was immediately drawn back to the present.

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" he muttered, flipping his phone in his hands. "Should I text Nathan or not? I mean, I wanna know if something happened, but he's probably too angry to answer. Or maybe Brady's still there. I don't want to seem hysterical."

"You're not being hysterical," Simon said calmly. "You care, there's a fucking difference."

"The worst that can happen is that he doesn't answer," I filled in, looking at Ash encouragingly.

He gave up a short laugh, which mostly sounded like a groan.

"Well, the worst that can happen is that I get the answer that he's been thrown out headfirst and now has nowhere to live."