Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

55. Let the wrong one in

I had left Ash alone in the afternoon when he talked to Nathan. I didn't want to know what he was saying, whether he was trying to convince Nathan or something else. I didn't want to get my hopes up. There was a part of me that desperately wanted to believe that Ash's family, his father and brother, couldn't be as awful as he made them out to be, even if it was a fact that Ash had even been evicted by his own father.

I wanted so badly to believe that there was a way out of this. Especially after Ash came back home, I didn't know what I would do with myself if he disappeared again. Before, I could have easily imagined myself being alone for the rest of my life, I had everything so perfectly mapped out, but now it was suddenly impossible for me to imagine being without him for even a week. What had happened to me?

When Ash came out of the bedroom where he had locked himself away to talk, he looked distressed. In his hand was a pillow, which he placed on one of the kitchen chairs. I had, for lack of anything else to do, started to cook some sort of food, even though my head wasn't really in the game. Without saying anything, he took a gentle grip on my shoulders, pried the spoon I was holding out of my hand and pushed me towards the chair where he gently pushed me down onto the pillow.

"Does the pillow help?" he said, looking down at me.

"Yes," I smiled wryly.

"Good. Because I need to distract myself with something, so I'll fix you dinner instead. You just need to sit and keep me company."

He looked thoughtfully down into the pot where I'd poured the onions and mince, then went to the fridge and started digging out more stuff. Was I even going to ask him how the conversation went? He seemed so completely focused on the cooking, as if he didn't want to be reminded of it at all. I didn't want to force him to recall anything, but at the same time that annoying little selfish animal inside me wanted to know. Demanded answers.

Ash held up a jalapeño and looked at me questioningly with raised eyebrows.

"Be... careful with it," I said, smiling sheepishly. "Might get strong."

He rolled his eyes and without hesitation began chopping the entire fruit, then swiped it all into the pot.

"I'll make you go outside your comfort zone here too," he grinned, coming up to me and planting a light kiss on my forehead. "And consider yourself lucky that you took off your collar, or I might have caressed your bare ass with these hands."

He held up fingers wet with jalapeño juice and winked. And I was definitely glad that I had taken off my collar. Even if the pillow helped, I'd have to stand up at work for days, I was sure of it.

"How... was Nathan?" I asked gently, careful not to sound too inquisitive.

He didn't answer right away but stirred the pot for a while.

"He first thought I'd been released and was overjoyed," he finally said. "So, I had to explain. Who coughed up the money, by the way? Don't tell me it was you?"

I shifted my weight. It felt somehow childish to admit that it had been my father who had done it, and I didn't even know if he considered it a loan or not. So in the end, maybe it was me after all.

"My dad fixed it," I admitted. "He said we shouldn't worry about it now."

Ash turned and looked at me with a shaken face.

"Oh my God, I have to pay him back," he said with emphasis. " I don't know how, but I have to."

"Screw that now," I muttered uncomfortably. "You're here, that's all that matters right now."