I felt as if the entire universe could see that I was emotionally withdrawing from my relationship.
That he was somehow blind to it.
Then I started thinking I was the blind one. I was the crazy one.
Maybe every bad thing, every horrible compromise was just me overthinking a totally normal conversation.
Maybe I was the one ruining a perfectly good relationship.
I thought that until I realised that actually: a good, healthy relationship doesn't make you sacrifice your own personal boundaries for your partner or their needs.
That you shouldn't disregard your own happiness for the validation of someone else.
That a healthy relationship doesn't mean waking up at night thinking that you'd be happier single.
Wishing you were single so you didn't need to be around this person anymore.
There were nights, horribly lonely nights where I did actually think that.
I knew that wasn't healthy at all but I felt stuck.
I felt unseen, unloved & used. I felt like I was just another crack in his mirror.
Just another worthless stain on his sheets.
I felt like I was never there in his sight but yet fully in his sight.
