Chaos and Bloodshed | SW/MCU Oneshots

A Reckoning Sign

Thanos - er, Maul - stood in the center of the battlefield. He raised the gauntlet up, grinning as he moved his fingers in position to snap."I am inevitable."

 He snapped. 

 Nothing happened.

 Han raised his armored hand, revealing the infinity stones embedded in a gauntlet of his own. He took a heavy breath. "And I... am gonna beat your ass." 

 Maul growled in frustration. "What!?" He shrieked as Han snapped. He began angrily jogging towards Han before he too faded into dust with the rest of his army. 

And, just like that, it was over. The battle stilled, and Han stumbled backwards. The others moved to crowd in front of him.

From somewhere distant, a voice cries "Loki'd!" and out steps Maul from a portal behind Han.

Han lets out a confused "Huh?" before Maul stabs him in the back. 

 "I am the bad guy! I can't believe you fell for that! You're such an idiot! Huhuhuhuhuhuuuu!" Maul goes running crazily off into the sunset, cackling happily while Han bleeds to death. "Goodbye, Iron Man, see you in the next life!" 

The others watch with pure confusion - some, with well-to-very-poorly-masked elation - as Maul cackles in the distance. Han falls flat on his ass. 

Obi-Wan shakes his head dejectedly at the ground. Anakin starts laughing, Ahsoka joining in, while Luke kneels in front of a fading Han. 

"Hey, buddy, it's gonna be alright," Luke says, cupping his friend's face. Han, however, completely ignores him. 

Leia shoves Luke away from her husband. Well, he wasn't exactly her husband. In fact, they might not have even been a couple. Nobody really knew what their relationship was. Everyone else just pretended they were married. 

"Hey, Han, can you hear me?" She says softly, holding his hand. He looks at her, giving her more of a response than he had given Luke, and pulls her hand to his chest. 

"Why am I dying?" He rasps quietly.

"Because you're a dumbass," Leia smiles sweetly, and Han only blinks at her, his brain no longer processing anything going on outside his body.

"I love you," His voice breaks as he whispers these words to her, and she doesn't even bat an eyelash as he sucks in a sharp breath. 

"Yes, I know."

Han falls backwards with a thud. Leia stands up beside her brother, completely emotionless. She looks at him, and he looks back at her. "Welp..."

"Not exactly a devastating loss..." Luke says, feigning contemplation. 

"What now?" Obi-Wan asks aloud to no one in particular.

"LET'S PARTAYYYY" Anakin shouts, dancing around and hooting like possessed gorillas with Ahsoka. Obi-Wan facepalms. 

Captain Rex the Official American, standing at Obi-Wan's side, chuckles a bit - although, it's more of an exhausted chuckle. He accidentally breathes in some of the dust kicked up in the air by Ahsoka and Anakin's erratic dancing and sneezes. Cody, elsewhere somewhere on the battlefield, promptly shouts "GOD BLESS AMERICA" before disappearing into the silence once more. 

Meanwhile,  Chewbacca stands in the back of the group, too mortified to even mutter an "I am Chewbacca." His best friend was just killed, and nobody, no one even seemed hurt. 

R2D2 the Raccoon stood by his side, staring somberly as the others whooped and danced around. He looked over at Chewbacca. "You gonna be okay, buddy?"

Chewie couldn't utter a response.