Chaos and Bloodshed | SW/MCU Oneshots

Murder Sibling(s)

what if Thor was picked up by the Ghost Crew instead of the Guardians in Infinity War: a concept

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"Thor, you can stay in here until we can get you a place to stay," Kanan said, showing Thor to the main passenger hold. Thor sat down in one of the cushioned seats, nodding a 'thank you'. Kanan nodded back before turning to leave. However, something stopped him - Chopper. 

The astromech unit stood ominously in the doorway, lowly bwomping. Kanan's eyes widened a bit as he walked over to the droid. He squatted down in front of Chopper, letting him know this was serious. Not the right time for chaos and insubordination. 

"Chop, be nice," Kanan said with a warning tone. Chopper bwomped with a growl, and Kanan narrowed his eyes. "I mean it. That's an order." 

Chopper sighed exasperatedly, rotating his head back and forth, and rolled past Kanan into the room. Kanan stood and left the room, shooting a glare Chopper's way. 

Chopper slowly, suspiciously rolled up to Thor, bwomping to himself. Thor looked at him. "Well, that's not very nice." 

Chopper let out a high-pitched bwomp as he rolled backwards in surprise, followed by many lower, questioning bwomps. 

Thor smiled. "Yes, I speak binary. They taught it as an elective on Asgard." 

Chopper was impressed. He bwomped another question.

"Oh, yes, my eye. My sister stabbed me in the eye when she was trying to kill me to take the throne in our father's place. Fortunately, she's dead now, so I don't have to worry about that anymore, but it's still a lingering loss. Along with my hammer, which she demolished. Yeah, I don't think I'll ever quite get over that..." He broke himself out of a rueful silence and grinned at Chopper, "Would you like to see?" 

Before Chopper could decline, Thor had peeled off his eyepatch, revealing an empty socket where an eye had once been. Chopper bwomped loudly in disgust, rolling back away from Thor and out of the room as fast as he could. Thor chuckled evilly to himself as he replaced his eyepatch. 

Later - Thor didn't know how much later, as he had taken to leaning back and dozing off after spending a while fidgeting with the holotable - Chopper rolled back into the room, arms flailing. In one of his claws, he held a small spherical object. In the other - Well, Thor couldn't tell. It was concealed behind his back.

Thor jolted up as Chopper entered, bwomping a tune that probably only he himself would be able to understand, no matter how many binary classes Thor had taken. Chopper rolled up to Thor, not quite enthusiastic but not as hesitant as he had been, and rammed into Thor's knee until Thor put out his hand. He dropped the little ball in Thor's palm and rolled back a bit.

Thor smiled gratefully at the gift - A new cybernetic eye. He looked up at the droid as he pocketed it, making a mental note to try it on when he had access to a mirror of some sort. "Thank you, Chopper." The droid bwomped in return, clapping his free claws together. Thor pointed at Chopper's other arm. "What else do you have there?" 

Chopper stopped bwomping. He chuckled in his terrifying, ominous way as he slowly pulled his other arm out. In his claw was a knife. He pointed it at Thor. 

Thor gasped, leaning away from the knife's point, "Chopper, nooooooooo!" 

Chopper laughed, something Thor heard as 'Chopper, yes.' Thor smiled.

"I knew it was you, brother," He said, before bolting out of the room, Chopper on his tail. The droid angrily bwomped in a frenzy, chasing Thor down the hallway and disturbing everyone else on the ship. 

"HELP HE'S- HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!" Thor shouted, breathing heavily between laughs. Chopper bwomped loudly - which, to Thor's understanding, meant something along the lines of 'SHUT UP AND FACE ME LIKE A REAL MAN.' 

Thor sprinted past the artsy Mandalorian girl's room. Then, he ran past the Lasat and boy's room; Just as he passed the door, it hissed open and out stepped the Lasat. 

He yawned. "Alright, what-" Chopper slammed into him, "KARABAST, CHOPPER, WHAT THE HELL-" 

Chopper looked up at Zeb, bwomping rapidly - hardly any of which Zeb actually understood. He vehemently waved the knife as if it could influence Zeb to move out of the way. Thor stopped running and turned around to watch. 

"What? No, I'm not going to let you stab him- Where did you even get a knife?" Chopper stared up at Zeb as he leaned down to grab the knife from his claws, "Give me that-"

Chopper pulled the knife away, bwomping exasperatedly. Zeb groaned, rolling his eyes. "HerA-" He called. However, Chopper cut him off with a series of hushed bwomps, roughly translating to 'Shut up you great lummox you know what will happen if she hears you!!'

Zeb smirked. "I'll shut up if you give me the knife," Chopper grumbled and looked away, handing the knife to Zeb. "Thank you. Now, run along."

Chopper rolled dejectedly down the hallway and back into the passenger hold to pout.

Thor cleared his throat, clasping his hands in front of him. Zeb turned around to face him. "My brother used to try to knife me like that all the time. 'Twas fun. Thank you, Zebastian." 

Zeb scoffed. "Huh. Yeah. Uhhhh, don't mention it." He walked back into his quarters, grumbling to himself as the door hissed shut behind him. 

Thor stood there for a moment more, smiling and looking around blankly before saying "Okay!" to himself and jogging back down the hallway towards Chopper.