Girl On Fire

16

"Oh." Was all I said. I sobered up a little bit as he stared at me with decently wide eyes.

"Abortion?" I asked hesitantly. I wasn't sure what to say. I sat up to be face to face with him.

"I would prefer not to, but if we really come down to it we can." He said, removing himself from me and making himself presentable. I was a little stunned by his words.

"You're okay with keeping it?" I asked with curiosity in my voice. I was surprised considering that we just started dating.

"Only if you are okay with it. I personally love babies." He said with a hand on his chest. That was right. I forgot about that entirely about him.

"I would but, I don't live here. I couldn't do long distance while pregnant with a child." I expressed my concerns, standing up to put back on my pants. He bit his lip in deep thought.

"Move in." He said, like it was simple. I was getting a little irritated with him. He wasn't understanding that I couldn't up and leave my home, just like that. Sure, I really had nothing to leave behind there, but the thought of leaving scared me. I didn't like change that much. I didn't accept new things that easily.

"I can't do that, Josh. Hell, I barely know you." I told him, scared for my future. I turned and looked at Josh since he didn't speak a word after what I said. He looked a little hurt by my words. A hint of guilt slid in.

"I'm sorry, but you got to understand who you're asking, here." I said softly. I was never good with my words. He shifted from hip to hip in nervousness.

"I have nothing left in Florida for me besides my home and my truck. I can't up and leave because I don't know how to up and leave." I said honestly, licking my lips nervously. "Florida is all I've ever known. I can't adapt to change and I feel like what you're asking for is something very big that I don't even know if I can do." He looked sad, but held composer as I spoke.

"You barely know me, I only know you from what I've learned on the internet. I don't exactly know who you really are. Not in like a bad way, but to have a child and move in with someone I've known for a month is a little bit of a tricky situation." I gulped. He nodded his head with every word I spoke, taking in the information I gave.

"But it works out for some people." He finally spoke. It was in a low voice but it was something.

"Yes, some people. How do you know were going to be that little percent?" I asked him.

"Wouldn't know unless we tried." He said with a shrug. He was right, however, I was still feeling defensive about leaving my home.

"Ill need some time to think about it, if I'm pregnant that is. It'll take a week to find out if I am or not. I'll give you an answer by then." I told him. He walked over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. Tears pricked my eyes, but I tried my best to hold them back.

————

Eventually, we found weed and rolled up, returning to the outdoors like nothing happen. Josh was good at hiding it but I knew myself. My face probably said it all.

Josh spotting the boys swimming in the pool with their drinks, therefore he ripped off his shirt and hopped in. I stayed by the pool side with my feet in and pants rolled up, thinking about scenarios with Josh and imagining him as a father.

"What's on your mind?" Danny asked me as he swam over to my legs. I rolled my pants a little higher and sighed.

"Not too much, but my brain breaking. I need smoke." I said, pulling out a cigarette from the box and lighting it. Danny laughed.