It was always written ✔️

Chapter 4

The time came for my 'rukhsati' and my father stepped forward to embrace me. Just as he was he started to enclose me in his arms, I stepped back but hit into a hard wall.

The supposed wall then enclosed his arms around me. I felt the hairs of his beard brushing as he whispered in my ear, "Don't you dare make a scene here. Go and hug you father dearest. So we can leave and get down to business." 

He pushed me roughly towards my father, but his last words rang in my ears. 

A bad feeling sat itself down in the pit of my stomach.

Something bad was definitely to come.

And bad it was indeed, in fact it destroyed me. 

My father embraced whilst shedding his crocodile tears, all I could feel towards him was anger. Extreme anger. 

Just as he was going to pull away, I pulled him back into my embrace, and I whispered in his. "I pray that you die the most painful death. I pray you never find happiness in this world or the next. I pray that die such a gruesome death that you don't even get the liberty to be buried. I pray you feel the pain I do and much worse. I promise you, I will avenge myself." 

And I pulled away from him and hugged his sister. "Pray for me. Thanks for telling me, even if it was late." 

I pulled away and she smiled at me and wiped my tears.

I pray that Allah blesses her with an abundance of happiness in the next world, if she's not destined for it in this world.

And that was it. My ruksati. 

Done. Dusted. Finished.

I sat in the car at the front, with him driving. 

I was numb. Is it at this point that I give up? 

Or do I keep going a little longer?

I had no idea. All I knew is that I had been sold and no one could save from whatever the future beholds. 

I could only pray that there was silence after the storm, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the sunshine after the rain. 

I could only pray. 

The car jerked to a stop and my attention snapped to the steaming angry man next to me. 

He grabbed my chin, "what man are you thinking about? Which man? Tell me! I'm your husband I should be on your mind, in your thoughts, in your heart and engraved into your soul." 

He let go of my chin and my head fell to the side. 

My heart beating erratically, he was going to hurt me, beat me even. And I won't escape....because no will help me. 

A traitorous tear fled the safety of my tear duct and raced down only to be flicked away by a monster. 

Who is better known as my husband. 

His fast softened in sympathy. 

"No my dear wife, don't cry. Not now. Especially not on our first night. You have the rest of our married life to cry over everything." A firm promise in his words. A promise that he would fulfil with all his heart and soul. 

He then turned up the volume and started to sing along. And then he turned to me and started to sing to me, 

Kitna naseebon she larr lege hum 

Kaise roinge jo tootey kasam 

Battoin mei bi tera zikr nahi 

Kaise kahi ab tujhko humdum 

It felt like he meant every lyric. He was promising me. Promising me my destruction, my pain, and my end. He was promising to end me. 

And indeed, he did try to end me. 

We reached his mansion and he threw the doors open to reveal a heavily decorated hall, dashed with golden accessories and features. My eyes swept the room, it was impressive but it wasn't what I desired. I just wanted someone who will....respect me. Treat me like their equal. And never leave my side. 

But considering the fact that I had been purchased by my husband, I guess I shouldn't keep my expectations too high. 

I jumped in surprise as a pair of arms made their way around my waist, caging me in. Telling me that I won't leave this house even when I am dead. 

His chin rested on my shoulder and his hot breath hitting my cheek. It was at this moment, I realised how much of a grave my father had dug for me. 

A grave, a pit, a goddamn trench.

He had dug this hole and thrown me in and surely I would burn. Only me.

"Time to get to bed, my dear biwi." He whispers huskily into my ear and grips my hand and starts leading me up the stairs. 

My legs refused to move but he still dragged me up the stairs like I was a rugged doll, a toy that he had an attachment to and couldn't let go of. 

He lead me into a room that had the same amount of lavishness as the hall downstairs. He sat me down on the bed and ordered me not to move. So I obeyed, throughout my childhood I was rebellious, neighbours, teachers hated me for my pranks and lack of obedience. And now...now look at me! I was obeying his orders without a sound. I had given up before even trying. This is a battle I know I'm going to lose before even fighting, so was there any point in fighting?

I looked up to see Zunair placing my things into another room. When he was done, he turned to face me and his face lit up. He plastered a smirk on his face and began to walk over exactly how a predator approaches its prey just before attacking. 

Just as he was about to 'attack', his phone rang and he picked up immediately and left the room, closing the door behind him. 

I breathed in relief. Allah had saved me this time, but it won't be long before he snatches what he wants and I for one, won't be able to stop him. 

I walk over to where he kept my belongings and took out the box of letters and flipped through the each one of them had a different emotion written on their envelope. I flipped through them until I found it. It read: "When all you want to do is cry and scream all day long". 

I rip the envelope open and read the wise words of wisdom she had left for me. 

"My daughter if you are ever at a point in your life where all you want to do is cry and scream all day long then my advice is don't. Don't cry. Don't scream. Don't ever show your weaknesses to others because they will always use them against you. Cry in front of your Rabb, the One who created you, the One who knows you better than yourself. He is the One who will help you heal when you yourself won't want to. He is the only one who will be there in your time of need. Remember this, don't forget it like I did."

Tears rolled down my cheek as I read the final sentence. Mom, what did you go through? 

Then I hear the banging of the door, and a shout of my name. 

"Alayna, where the FUCK are you?" A deep voice bellowed through the empty room. 

Ya Allah, only You can help me now!

******

Dedicated to 

Thank you for your comments and your votes, it means a lot. 😊

I don't think I'll be fully back on Wattpad for a good few months now. I do miss writing, I absolutely love it. But Wattpad has become such a distraction for me over the past year and my grades are suffering as a result. I mean I am still lurking in the shadows 😅😅 but I want to stop completely. Please pray for me guys.