Elysian (Samantila Series #1)

33

Alam mo ba yung pakiramdam na alam mo, sa sarili mo, na hindi mo na dapat gawin pa ang isang bagay, pero ginagawa mo parin kasi hindi mo matiis na gawin ito?

That defines me right now.

"You should go back to Cebu, Ame." kumento ni Guinevere, habang ka-tawagan ko siya.

Nagising ako mula sa mga iniisip at agresibong umiling, "I don't need to do that. I can graduate here."

"Sigurado akong hindi mo na nakikita si Stage sa campus niyo dahil paniguradong iniiwasan ka ring makita nung tao, pero 'di ko maintindihan kung bakit ganyan parin ang gawain mo araw-araw. You were able to save Stage from the complication, pero ikaw naman ngayon ang ganyan?"

She's right. I don't even see Stage that often sa campus. Actually, simula nung nag-break kami ay ni anino niya ay 'di ko nakita.

Pero, heto ako. Parang tangang laging naiiyak o natutulala nalang bigla dahil sa sakit.

"I don't blame you for feeling hurt. Naiintindihan ko. But, you're always like that, Ame. If you want to feel better then go back to our hometown and rest there! Mabuti pa roon dahil nandon sila Tita. E, dyan? Mag-isa ka lang d'yan. For sure, if our cousins stopped visiting you, you'd go mad." dugtong pa ni Blaid.

Dahil roon, at sa ilan pang mga advise nila Maze ay napagdesisyunan kong umuwi sa Cebu pagkatapos ng semester naming iyon.

I also heard Stage transferred schools, just like me.

Pansamantala kong tinapos ang pangalawang taon ko sa kolehiyo sa isang pribadong eskuwelahan sa Cebu. My parents decided to send me to Australia, where Guine is to finish my college degree. And if ever I wanted to master my degree, I can.

Hindi ko itatanggi, matapos ang halos isang taong paglayo mula sa .... ay medyo bumuti ang pakiramdam ko. Hindi na rin ako katulad noong mga unang araw palang na umiiyak, this time, I have no hard feelings about it now.

Nakangiti kong pinanood si Blaid at Chain Parcon na mag-usap sa harapan ko. We're at a Starbucks right now, chilling after weeks full of stress.

Nakapatong ang baba ni Chain sa balikat ni Blaid at pinapanood ang reaksyon ng pinsan ko sa ganong kalapit na distansya. Si Blaid ay nakasimangot lamang at 'di umiimik.

Alam ko na iba ang Parcon na gusto dati ni Blaid, pero katulad ng sabi ko, dati na yon. If these two developed a romantic feeling with each other, hindi na kagulat-gulat iyon.  They've spent years here. Nagulat na nga lang ako noong dumating ako ay kasa-kasama ni Blaid si Chain sa airport at talagang welcome na welcome pa ang lalaki sa condo niya.

That's when Blaid told me that Chain transferred to Australia since the mid of her first year here.

Acrylleus is already showing interest since before, naaalala ko pa iyong nag live selling sila Maze at nag-comment ng "mine" itong si Chain sa live noong turn na ni Guinevere.

Chain is a really good guy. Kaya kung sila nga, deserve nila ang isa't isa.

Nagsalita si Blaid, "How's Tita Alelian?"

Inalis ni Chain ang pagkakapatong ng baba sa balikat ni Blaid at inilagay na lamang ang kanyang braso sa likod ni Blaid.

"She's fine. You don't really need to worry, sadyang may kaunting sira lang 'yong light aircraft. Dad was the pilot and he won't let Mom get hurt." eksplenasyon ni Chain.

I drank my cup of coffee. Coffee is becoming my favorite nowadays. Madalas kasi akong mag-isip ng marami tuwing gabi at 'di ko na nakakayanang matulog dahil doon. Drinking coffee became a hobby.

Napansin ko nalang ang matagal ko palang panonood sa labas nang tawagin ako ni Blaid. "Ame.."

Chain also turned his attention to me. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay hot seat ako.

Ilang segundo muna akong tinitigan ni Blaid bago siya umiling. "No. Nevermind."

I originally didn't want to take master's degree, dahil ilang taon pa ang aabutin noon at ang iha-handle ko pang business ay hindi na kailangan no'n. Kaya naman sinunod ko nalang ang planong iyon at hindi narin nag-take ng licensure exam.

Instead, I decided that I should take at least an associate's degree of the business administration program.

"Are you sure that you won't master electrical engineering? You don't have to handle our business, anak. Besides, it would be nice to have an "Engineer" beside your name." nag-aalalang sabi ni Mama sa kabilang linya.

I shook my head, "No, Ma. Saka.. I might start a business or whatever later in time. I need to at least study the basics of business or I won't be able to earn money at all?"

"We have more than enough money to support you. Pero, sige, kung iyan ang gusto mo, susuportahan ka namin."

Maraming nag-aakala na porke't nag-take ako ng electrical engineering ay simula't sapul na akong interesado rito. Yes, it'd nice to hear someone call me "engineer" but I don't really have plans to get serious with my bachelor's degree. Hindi naman sa ayaw kong maging inhenyero, kaya lang, kahit na sinasabi nila Mama na 'di ko na kailangang i-handle ang business namin ay alam ko namang hindi sila habang buhay na nariyan. At some point, I need to learn how to study business, at least in order to handle our marine business.

And, I want to stand on my own feet.

Nang mag-graduation ay pumunta ang lahat ng pinsan ko at ang kani-kanilang mga magulang sa Australia para lamang i-celebrate ang aming graduation.

Nakangiti habang magkakatabi kami nila Maze ng tayo, Tita Taria took the picture with Maze's polaroid camera.

Dahil lahat kami ay nakapagtapos na ng Bachelor's Degree, at ang iilan ay nagtetake na lamang ng master's ay hindi naging mabigat para sa'min magsama-sama ngayong araw.

"Finally! Wala nang ga-graduate sa'tin." tuwang-tuwa na saad ni Elzaire.

"Well, technically, meron pa. Pero if you mean bachelor's degree, yes, wala na." sabi ni Mazikien.

I understand Zaire's feelings. Tuwing kasing may ga-graduate saamin ng college ay kinakailangan naming mag tipon-tipon magpipinsan para ma-celebrate ang graduation ng isa.

"Woah. You'll go to med school? Grabe. Hindi na siguro ako magme-med school. I'm contented with being a registered nurse." narinig kong usapan ni Briseis at Blaid.

Both of them are in the med field. Briseis took Bachelor in Science of Nursing, while Blaid took Bachelor in Science of Pharmacy as her pre-med course. Si Briseis ay nasa proseso pa lamang ng pagiging registered nurse (as far as I know).

Tahimik kong pinanood ang mga pinsan kong maingay na nag-uusap.

And then, there I realised somethinh Kahit gaano pa sila kaingay, kagulo, at kabarumbado, I still feel grateful for having them. No matter what happen, I still find peace in them.