The Lullaby Nights

♥ 13

HARLEY

We removed the electrodes from Nina's chest and carefully helped her light body onto the commode. Oh, the sweet smile she gave me when Gina handed her a rubber duck. I had no idea where she'd got it from, but it made my girl so cheerful I almost dissolved into tears.

Lately, since Neil told us the worst news, I'd been beyond emotional. More than I'd ever been. I still couldn't believe than my sweet Cloud, my Jack-O', my Little Squash and Pumpkin was going to breathe her last breath soon. This thought had been haunting me like an evil spirit. I wasn't ready to let her go. I felt terrified.

I pushed the commode into the bathroom. It was neat and plain like any other hospital room. I wheeled Nina into the shower whilst she held onto the rubber duck, as though it was her sole source of energy.

I crouched in front of her and brought her body towards my own, which allowed me to reach for the two ties that resided at the back of her hospital gown. If it wasn't for the tiny dots that embellished its thin fabric, the snowy colour would have camouflaged Nina in this white bathroom. That's how pale she'd become.

I gently slid the gown down her narrow shoulders, then her slim legs, and eventually took it off her and threw it to the side. Nina's eyes shifted from the duckling to me. She seemed anxious.

'What's wrong, my love?' I stroked her knee.

She pursed her lips, saddened, then slowly removed the wig from her head. The shame in her eyes intensified in a flash. 'I'm ugly.' Her voice quivered. 'I'm going to die ugly.' A single tear fell from her eye.

My heart shattered. I wanted to prove to her that she was in the wrong. Driven by this desperate desire, I knelt before her and placed my warm hands on her naked waist. Her skin might've been cold, but it was just as delicate and lovely to touch as I remembered it.

Nina's eyes lifted and met mine. I trailed my hands up her body, absorbing each bump that were her ribs. She was so fragile, so. . . tiny. I leaned forward and bestowed a fond kiss upon her bald head. I needed her to know that even without her beautiful ginger hair, she was as stunning as the day I met her. Nothing could change my mind about that, especially not cancer.

I traced my palms along her pale shoulders and arms, simultaneously planting feather-soft kisses across her sublime skin. I pecked her collarbones, breasts, tummy and thighs. My lips worshipped every inch of her body, but stopped, interrupted by her sudden words.

'I want you to shower with me one last time.'

I fought the pain in my chest. One. Last. Time. It sounded awful. It sounded plaintive and wrong. I hated it. I felt an urgent need to scream. Every part of me wanted to break into a deafening howl. But I couldn't. I couldn't do it in front of her.

I took off my clothes, unsure whether I was even allowed to use the shower for my own needs, so I just stood there, naked. Nina's eyes travelled downwards, and she drew in a wheezy, unsteady breath. My stomach churned at the sound. Her breathing had never been so bad. It made my eyes prick with tears.

'You. . .' She hesitated, studying me, or rather the area below my abdomen, from her commode.

'Of course I am, babe. I've never stopped finding you attractive. The proof's down here.' I pointed at my aroused self. 'With or without hair, you're still my beautiful girl. You are the person I fell in love with.' I knelt anew and connected our lips. It was one of the most divine kisses Nina had ever given me; single and slow, but how romantic. So lovesick and intimate. Our mouths stayed united until she finally had to let go to catch a breath, or so I assumed.

Surprised, I looked down at her fingers, gently clasped around me. I wasn't an idiot. I knew that she couldn't do anything, and even if she wanted to, I wouldn't let her because I cared for her. But it meant a lot to me. The fact she wanted to show me that she still needed me. That if things were different, she would be making love to me right now.

I took her hand in mine and kissed her knuckles. Then I grabbed the duckling she'd been holding and made my voice sound silly. 'Ready for a quack shower?'

Nina's sweet giggle filled the bathroom.