The Lullaby Nights

♥ 18

NIGHT FIVE

NINA

In comparison to last evening, I felt better today. The pain was still there, it always was, dull and disturbing, but bearable.

My sight remained focused on the courtyard of the hospital. I watched it from my bed, which was close enough to the window for me to perceive the life outside it.

There were a few people, chatting and ambling along the concrete that got covered in a picturesque, talc-like snow. Myriad miniatures danced in between those individuals and all around them, dusting their long coats and woolen hats with frosty powder.

Studying the figures outside felt like watching a film with the sound off. I was curious what they were talking about. Were they discussing how to prepare a turkey for Christmas or was their conversation more serious? Maybe they were about to make a decision on what coffin to buy for whoever they had visited?

What coffin would I be buried in?

It didn't matter. Dead, I wasn't going to complain, was I?

I sighed and looked away. The more time ticked on by, the more nervous I became. I really wanted to live until Christmas, but yesterday felt like it might've been my last day.

Guilt consumed me from within when I woke up this morning. I'd ruined another evening. Harley seemed so excited to show me whatever he'd planned, and I just extinguished that enthusiasm within the snap of a finger. I had no other choice. Every remaining ounce of my strength mattered, and I wanted to stay on this earth for as long as I only could.

For him.

Hours of sleep seemed to have reclaimed some of that frail vitality that had kept me going for the past few days. I was ready for another evening, but I wasn't even sure whether Harley had planned anything this time. I didn't have to ask why he'd been so spontaneous lately. It was just the way he was — solicitous and loving.

Right now, he wandered to the toilet and was probably going to stop by the vending machine to get himself a drink on his way back.

I reached for his diary. I wanted to dive back into the life that I used to live. Reading his notes made me sane, and maybe it was the reason why he'd wanted me to look through them. Just like I'd done it before, I opened the notebook on a random page.

10 June 2019

Dear Diary,

Being sixteen is strange. All my friends start to explore their sexuality, but I don't feel the need to rush. Things with Nina are good. I'm more than happy to wait. She's worth it. She's worth the blue balls she's giving me, even in her Scooby Doo pyjamas. Oh, I'd love to have a taste of that Scooby snack. I just need to make sure that my Mystery Machine will be ready when the time comes, then I'll give Nina a proper ride. Okay, enough of the jokes. They're just bad. I'll keep you updated. 'Till next time!

I closed the diary and laughed. He was such an idiot.

'Someone's in a good mood,' Harley pointed out, walking into the room.

'I'd love to have a taste of that Scooby snack? Really?' I chuckled, pinching the bridge of my nose in amusement. 'A Mystery Machine ride?' Another giggle bubbled up my throat.

Harley laughed himself. 'In my defence, I was sixteen, but as we're already at it, did you like the ride?'

I squelched the grin that tried to stretch my mouth. 'I don't know, the road seemed quite bumpy.'