Breathe Into Me

A New Perspective

*Addie's POV*

I don't know what it is about today that has me... happy for once in my life. It's not even Friday yet and I can't stop wondering what Billie has planned. Nor can I stop stealing glances as we share a commute on the train ride.

I used to hate the commute, and then Jess came along and made it marginally bearable with all of the hot gossip she thrived in spilling. But Billie... without having to say a word, fills the train car with a palpable tension.

A longing almost.

Not in a sexual sense, although I wouldn't be opposed to it, but more so the intimacy. Just being close to her, figuring her out like the puzzle she is. She's obviously generous and caring, that's pretty evident. But right now, all of these stolen glances between the two of us... that devilish smirk tugging at her lips as she's eyeing me... I wanna know what's going through that head of hers.

I tap my forefinger against my cardboard coffee cup watching her scribble something in the leather journal she always seems to carry around with her, wondering.

"Earth to Addie." Jess nudges me. "You good? You've been kind of checked out today."

"Yeah I'm good, just mentally preparing myself to shadow Dr. Jackson again today." I give her a small smile before taking a sip of my coffee.

"Oooo someone must have really liked being in on a surgery last week! That makes one of us. I for once, finally get to see the inside of an operating room after weeks of doing miscellaneous tasks. Gimme the scalpel." She gushes.

"With that kind of enthusiasm, I wouldn't trust you to give me stitches you maniac." I chuckle, stealing one more glance at Billie before the train stops. She's got her nose buried in her journal.

It's kind of nice that Jess is completely oblivious to anything that doesn't involve her. Which has its downfalls, she vents a lot. I can handle that. But it's the constant validation and needing to be seen and engaged in constant conversation. Which is why she doesn't know anything about me, nor where I live, or even my middle name. Yet I know more than I care to about her, even her boytoy habits.

I step off the train, not caring if Jess follows me or not. I can hear her chattering behind me.

It's it that I don't have or want friends, I'm just super picky about who I let in. I tend to watch how people interact with others to determine whether or not they're worth my time to get to know. I guess that makes me shallow, maybe even a little snobby. But it's kept me from getting into the wrong kind of crowd.

The fact I let Billie come over even though I hardly know her, was a huge step for me. After I moved here I swore to myself not to let anyone get too close. Because last year I did, I trusted my roommate ended up getting all of my possessions stolen from me.

Every single one.

Nothing was sacred or left untouched. After that I moved here for my clinical residency and little by little I've been rebuilding my life.

I don't know why but I feel safe around Billie, even when she asked for my address to 'send' me food, I didn't have any hesitation which is unusual for me.

"Miss Corbin." I hear Dr. Jackson say as I'm washing my hands, getting ready for the day.

"Yes ma'am?"

"You're with me today, I have a subdural hematoma that needs burr holes to decompress, sound good?" She asks cocking her eyebrow.

"Sounds great." I give her a nod.

"Meet me in 402 when your finished here." She instructs.

I finish getting ready and practically run up to the fourth floor. It's not like I'm excited or anything. I take a deep breath before entering.