Breathe Into Me

Cut The Tension

*Addie's POV*

Morning came a lot quicker than I wanted it to, but it means I'm closer to seeing Billie again, even if it's just on the commute to and from work.

Normally I'd be thrilled to see her, and I am, but I don't have the energy to do anything besides the bare minimum today. I can feel a migraine brewing. It's only a matter of time before it hits me full force. Which means I'm skipping breakfast, popping a couple ibuprofen, and drinking coffee like it's water. I mean, technically it's just hot bean water right?

I meet up with Jess at the station. "Dude, you look rough. Party too much last night?" She raises her brow at me.

Judgy much? "Nope, just a killer migraine. Although I did have a good couple days off. Spent some time with a friend." I explain, trying to remain vague.

"Oh, is this friend someone you're interested in?" She gets giddy at wanting me to spill whatever hot gossip she thinks I might have.

"I guess so yeah... she's really cute, funny, and surprisingly sensitive." I confess, not realizing the gravity of what I've just said.

"Wait-... she?" Jess gasps.

I purse my lips avoiding eye contact with her. "Mhmm."

"I knew it!!" She exclaims. "Damien owes me twenty bucks."

"Wait?! You bet on me being into women?? The fuck Jess?" I can't help but laugh at the situation.

"To be fair, he said that you weren't hot enough to be bi, but I told him you were too hot not to be..." she grimaces.

"Well it's a hell of a good thing I never found his arrogant ass attractive. You know, I didn't think you had the same specialties, when did you even talk to him?" I ask her out of curiosity.

Her blatant silence gives me my answer. "You're fucking him aren't you?" I raise my brow as I sip my coffee.

"Fucking yes, relationship hell no." She clarifies.

I hold up my hand in defense. "I'm just calling it how I see it J. Is he at least good in bed? Does his massive ego compensate for anything that may be... 'lacking'?" I say with a smirk, enjoying egging her on.

"Oh my god I can't with you today." She huffs, annoyed at me.

"Mmm but I tolerate you literally joking on my behalf everyday, and you can't take a joke. Interesting, I'll have to give you shit more often." I smirk as we step onto the train.

She just glares at me and I take another sip of my coffee, pretending not to notice. I take a glance around the cab, no Billie. I hope she's okay. The minute we step onto hospital grounds my phone starts to vibrate in my pocket.

"Hello?" I haphazardly ask the unknown number.

"Corbin, OR3 stat. I need an extra set of hands I can trust while I have this guy open." Dr. Jackson orders.

"I-.. yes ma'am. On my way." I tell her before hanging up and sprinting through the halls to the locker room.

I toss my hair in a low bun and secure my scrub cap, shimmy out of my sweats and into some scrubs. I shove a couple pens into my pants pocket as well as my ID badge. Before making another mad dash to the OR.

I scrub my hands as hard as I can, counting down the seconds until I can legally stop. Dr. Jackson is eyeing me through the window, her hands not moving. Is there something wrong? I pull on a gown, and the OR staff glove me up and tie me in.

"What's the status?" I ask as I step inside.

"Male, 47, stroke. Tumor extraction. Well, it was supposed to be treated with medication and radiation but when he came in, the tumor was significantly larger than anticipated. I'm honestly shocked he was even semi functional when he walked in here. So, I don't have two extra hands on my body, I need you to excise, extract, and repair while I resect the tissue. Can you handle it?" She briefs me.

"Yes ma'am." I say confidently. Although her comment about her not having two extra hands on her body made me internally giggle.

I take a quick look at the scans before taking my place opposite Dr. Jackson, scalpel in hand. I can literally see it bulging. She watches me intently as I make the first incision. Followed by delicately cutting and removing said tumor.

The moment I have it out, it starts bleeding profusely and his monitors go haywire. Shit his BP is dropping. What do I do?

I look at Dr Jackson. Book wise, I know what I need to do, but for some reason the beeping gets louder and louder in my head, making it throb. What if I fuck this up?

I take a breath and refocus myself even though the sound of the monitors is blaring, my migraine must be getting worse if my ears are this sensitive. I grab the cauterizing tool and get to work on controlling the bleeding.

After controlling the bleed his blood pressure starts to normalize. I let out a shaky breath and continue working on making sure this man doesn't die on the table and has some semblance of a normal life.

"Good work Corbin, now what do we do?" Dr Jackson quizzes me as I work.

"Uh, ensure there isn't any additional bleeding or damage done, send the tumor to pathology for examination, and literally put this man back together. Followed up by conferring with his family on the surgery, recovery, and discharge." I list.

We finish up closing and the nurse wheels him to recovery while Dr Jackson and I scrub out. It's quiet with only the sound of brushes cleaning under our nails.

"Would you like to be the one to tel his family that he made it out of surgery?" She speaks up.

"I-... really?"

"Corbin, you're smart, relatively cool under pressure, and you're not a caddy bitch like most residents are. You're one of the few I like, you've got this. You just need to believe in yourself just as much as your superiors and peers do." She says, giving me a little pep talk.

"Tell anyone I was nice and I'll kick you out of the OR for a week." She smirks to herself, halfway joking.

"I'll work on it."

She accompanies me while I give his family an update and fill them in on how to care for him during recovery.

Afterwards I make a bee line for the locker room, digging through my bag for any sort of pain reliever. Once I find it, I pop one in my mouth and stick my head under the faucet to down it with a bit of water.

I hear the door open and I turn to see Jess. I sense tension from her. Ever since I called Jess out on her shit, she's been awfully quiet.

Normally I'd confront the tension between us but I don't have the energy to deal right now. I honestly don't have much energy at all. I brace my hands on either side of the sink, waiting for the pain meds to kick in... but they don't even touch the throbbing in my head.

I grip the sink even harder as a wave of pain hits.

a/n: surprise! Btw I'm still undecided about the kind of person I want Jess to be. Also y'all aren't going to be ready for the twist that I have planned for this book. But I'm excited to take you guys on this journey.

I've done a lot of switch/dom Billie books but I think in this one she's going to be a lil subby. 😈

I lub you bubbies 🥰