Sympathy for the Devil

Prologue

A body hitting pavement sounds like a clap of thunder. It's demanding and greedy. It wants everyone's attention in the surrounding vicinity. The sound echoes throughout the night like a dark beacon.

Waking up from a dreamless state, my body sprawled out of my cozy bed. I rose to a bone-chilling nightmare. A wake-up call in the form of a gripping note was placed gingerly on my chest. The contents of the letter would soon pierce my heart like a sharpened dagger. The faint scent of my mother's perfume lingered on the folded piece of paper: vanilla and Amber.

I'm sorry was written in a bold black font. I unfolded the letter to reveal the damning words that turned my dreams into nightmares as I sat up in bed, wide awake. Perspiration slicked my skin, and the note nearly slipped from my hands.

Ellie, if you find yourself reading this note, it means I am no longer with you. Parting is never easy. Someday, I hope you will find it within your heart to forgive me for leaving you on this melancholy and confusing note. Unfortunately, I cannot expect you to understand my decision. No one is to blame for my death. But I need to die so that you all can live. Live a long, whole life, one free of regret and sacrifice. I love you all deeply.

Love, Mom.

A necklace shook loose from the paper. It was silver and had an intricately designed Celtic emblem on one side and a crow on the back. My mom always wore this necklace. She never took it off. The necklace resembled an omen of death and misery. My mom was always a very literal person. The necklace fell from my hands as I realized that she'd meant this as a final gift for me. Those words etched into my mind like a tattoo. They echoed in my ears as if she were right here whispering them to me, but she wasn't here. She was no longer anywhere at all.

I felt like the wind had been drained out of my body. The note felt scorching hot in my clammy hands. I dropped it as it sank to the floor with my last ounce of breathable air. The words burned my retinas like a harsh ray of sun. Then came the damning sound of the thud outside my window; the contents were not only damning but soul-crushing. Deep in the pit of my stomach, I knew that my mother was dead, and in my cold hands were her last words.

As I sank to the fluffy white carpet, her last words remained with me and crumbled to the ground like ash from a fire.

Reaching for the wastebasket next to my cluttered nightstand, I threw up the minimal contents in my stomach before looking out my bay window to confirm the truth already planted deep inside my darkening mind. My face became drenched in sweat. I felt scorching hot, as if a flame had been lit inside my chest and ignited my heart, shattering it into pieces that could never be mended.

My throat was clogged to the brim with mucus. I couldn't breathe as the tears welled to the surface and pooled down my face in large streams. I didn't deserve to breathe if my mother no longer could. Once reaching the window, my suspicions were confirmed as a harsh reality. My mother was dead. Her head broke the surface of the pavement beneath my window. Her brain matter stained the sidewalk a rustic brown. Maggots were already gathering for a late-night snack.

Vomit rose to the surface again. It crawled up my throat. I made a few gagging noises as the bile expelled from my lips.

My stomach felt queasy, and my body felt weakened by the sight of my mom. Clamping my mouth shut, the vomit broke through the chapped creases of my parted lips and dribbled down my chin. Finally, I collapsed to the ground, vomit smearing across my face and entangling with my hair. My ruby red hair with unruly curls that now matted to the side of my face as vomit stuck the strands like glue to my cheeks.

I let out a crushing scream of agony as more vomit was expelled from my throat. My mouth reeked of bile and sadness. There was a desperation to the cries that made me seem like a pathetic, blubbering mess. The bile burned as it rose to the surface, clawing its way out of my mouth. I had never been particularly excellent at expressing my emotions, but now the feelings I've spent forever suppressing rose to the surface. Every bitter and dark thought came to mind. Every memory that once was good now felt like a bitter aftertaste. Good moments seem infinitesimally more diminutive than the bad ones all of a sudden.