It Ain't Black And White

26

"cora your breakfast is ready" sitting on my bed, I didn't even bother answering Marybeth. "Hey I know you are angry but you need to eat. Sweetheart, I can't bring it to you" I only shrugged "come on you can eat with them" I shook my head "come-on" rolling my eyes I stood up.
Walking to the table, I then sat down. The food doesn't even look that appealing. I used to love marybeths cooking. "Good morning cora" eating my meal, they played happy families, chatting away about god knows what. Eating a tiny bit of my meal, I stood up leaving the table. I don't want to eat, I just want to go home. "Cora. You need to eat" walking back to my room, I opened the door then closed it again and walked to the window taking a seat. This view is even boring. Large houses, people playing happy families and shit. None of it is real. What's real is back in the hood.
Hearing two knocks at my door, I didn't even bothering answering. Hearing the door open, I put my hood on my head.
"Cora my name is Annette lane. I'm a counselor for the city. I hear you are having troubles" looking at the woman, I then turned away "may I ask what has you upset?" I don't give a shit. I refuse to speak to any of them. "Cora are you struggling?".
For an entire hour the woman didn't shut up, asking questions and I wasn't answering any of them. I refuse to speak to any of these people. As soon as she left I got up closing my door, I got in the shower and washed my body. When I got out, I walked out to my closet. Yeah I'm not wearing those clothes. Standing in my towel, I walked back to the bathroom and closed the bathroom door. Washing my clothes in the shower with shampoo and conditioner, I hung them up on the towel radiator. I refuse to wear those ugly fucking clothes and I will stand in here for hours if I have to. Standing around for two hours keeping myself occupied in the bathroom waiting for my clothes to dry. When they were all dry, I put them back on and walked out. "cora you have clothes in the closet, get out of those" rolling my eyes, I walked to the window and sat down. Looking out at the large tree I studied it.
"You may be angry but this is good for you. I'm your mother cora and even I can see you are acting out. This silence thing you have going on, won't help. You have been troubled for years. Yes I know your dad and sister didn't help, but they are trying to make amends. Let them in. Let me back in. This is only going to break you more. Speak to someone, release your anger and forgive them. Even I have forgave your father for his ways. You can't be staying in this room all the time, you will go stir crazy. Speak with Annette or Jake even. Marybeth misses you too, the old you. The way you used to be, complimenting her cooking, using those manners of yours. I want my care free daughter back, the one who had spunk about her, who never let someone bring her down, that had a fire in her heart." Mom went to grab my hand, but I tightly crossed them against my stomach "I understand. You are hurting but we all love you and the only way you will heal, is if you let it all out. You cant be staying in here though, this not healthy. Speak with me, speak with your sister and speak with your father" not saying a word mom walked around to be in front of me. Turning my head to look out the window she went to touch my face, but I moved my head "cora you are fighting against yourself. None of us want to fight with you" mom walked off and out of my room. Damn right I'm angry, I hate all of them and I refuse to give into their happy family shit. I don't want them to make amends, I don't want to see any of them, speak to any of them and I surely do not want to be here. The only thing that's breaking me is, I was pulled away from my true family. Those who actually care, who have never hurt me, never told me to be someone else. They won't see anything from me, they can try all they damn like. They can have the counselor come around every fucking day, I don't care.

"Cora its good to see you" walking past everyone in the hallways not saying a word, I walked to my classroom and sat down. "The bitch is back. You think you can come back and not get what you did to me" getting punched in the face, I let her go. She can hit me as much as she wants. "KAYLA NO" not even bothering to fight back as she laid punch after punch, I got off the ground. I knew I was bleeding, but I couldn't give two shits. "Miss Phillips what happened in here?" "This bitch slapped me and I retaliated" "cut it out Kayla. She didn't do shit" "go to the sickbay" standing up, I walked out of the classroom. Entering the sickbay, the nurse shook her head "sit" sitting down she cleaned my lip and eye. "Cora you come back and you already started trouble. What do you have to say huh?". Yeah of course it was me.
"Just go back to class" walking back to class, I sat down and got my work done.
"Hey cora are you alright?" "She won't talk lily" "she will talk to me" no I won't. Finishing my work, I waited for the bell and walked out. Getting slammed against the locker, I looked at Corey which is one of Jakes mates. "The fatty comes back" "man leave her the fuck alone" Corey slammed his hand against the locker but I just rolled my eyes. Getting pulled back by my hood Corey grabbed my throat "you are a dis..." "COREY STOP" "you are fucking lucky ya rat" waiting for him to let go, I just stared at him. When he stepped back, his eyes showed worry "you aren't okay" walking away and down the corridor to outside. I walked to the far tree and sat down. Eating my apple the only thing that came to mind was Emmanuel calling me olive. I know they aren't the same, but they are a food. I couldn't help but smile at just the thought of him. Hearing the bell go, I grabbed my bag and walked back inside. Seeing Jake with Corey, I just kept walking. "Cora I'm sorry" not even bothering to answer, I entered my class and sat down. They can throw what they like at me but I refuse to fight back. Kill me for all I care, I couldn't give two shits. I'd rather be dead than be back in this boring ass place, with boring ass stuck up people. As soon as this day is over, I plan to go straight back to the room and have a shower, wash my clothes, wait for my clothes to dry then go to sleep.
Getting to the end of the day, I was sick of people talking to me and asking me questions that I have no interest in answering. Leaving the school building, I waited out the front. "Cora" looking at Jake he spoke "your face looks bad why didn't you fight back?" Turning away, he moved in front of me "you don't care anymore?" Not giving him anything, he put his head down as my dad's car pulled up. "Cora and Amelia get in" getting in the back dad spoke "what happened to your face?" "Daddy, Kayla hit her" "you didn't fight back?" Turning my head to look out the window, dad started driving. Getting back to the house, I got out and walked inside "oh my god cora" walking to my room, I opened the door and walked in, closing and locking it. Entering my bathroom, I stripped out of my clothes. Looking at my face, I internally grinned. Six hits and that's all she could do?. Getting in the shower, I washed my clothes then hung them over the radiator. Getting back in, I washed my body and my hair then got back out. Keeping the towel around me, I stood in front of the mirror. I need to practice braiding my hair just like Shania did it. No one could prefect it like she did, but I'm going to try. I'm sure if she had the time, she would've done more than two braids but two will do for now. Braiding my hair, I shook my head. I need to redo them. Starting again, i took my time.