Finding our place in this world

Second Chances

[Ray’s POV]

            In the months following Ryan’s recovery, I was by his side and I made sure no one gave me shit about it. Ryan needed me and I knew that he knew I needed him. He hadn’t suffered too much damage, even with a shot to the head. Though they did say he’d probably have some slight memory loss. This meant I got to see Ryan at his best and his worst, there were days he remembered me and the crew, and there were days that he didn’t remember me at all. The days he didn’t remember me, I kept my distance until everything fell into place in his head and he got what bits went missing back.

            It was hard watching him forget even the simple things that should be natural to him, like firing a gun, or even tossing a knife. He struggled every day and it killed me on the inside, because I had to watch him deal with it, and sometimes he got so frustrated he cried all I could do was cry with him. There were nights he had to write down things so he remembered them. The thing I found him writing the most was ‘I love Ray Narvaez Jr’ it was heart breaking, but some part of me, whatever it was, found it beautiful.

            I often ended up staying up all night so he didn’t leave and forget where he was supposed to return to. When I felt he was in a good place, I left back to 636 and didn’t return for a couple of days. It was about four days later when I got a call from Ryan about 3 am. Rolling over I answered my phone.

“Ryan?” I asked, yawning.

“Ray. I don’t…I can’t remember what happened, I just stepped out for a walk and now I’m covered in blood and on the run from the cops, please help me.” Ryan said.

            He sounded like he was still running judging from the sounds in the background, after asking him where he was I got out of bed and dressed, leaving via the fire escape. I ran down the streets of Los Santos, and finally managed to spot Ryan. I grabbed his hand and took off running, dodging bullets as best I could, I didn’t realize I’d been hit in the shoulder until we were hiding under an over pass and Ryan pointed it out.

“Ray, you’re bleeding.” He said, looking panicked.

Glancing to my shoulder, I swore beneath my breath and sighed. “You’re right.”

“Should we do something about it?” He asked.

            Shaking my head, I looked around the corner and made sure there were no more cops around me. Taking Ryan’s hand, I pulled him out from under the over pass and we ran back to 636. It took us about 20 minutes to get there, once we were there we went up the fire escape and into my room, I pulled off my jacket and tossed it aside, heading into the bathroom after pulling off my shirt. I looked into the living room to see everyone awake. I caught Jack’s attention and he came over.

“What’s up Ray?” He asked.

“Listen, Ryan’s here, because he’s in trouble with the cops. He’s in my room right now, I need you to keep that a secret between us, and I also have a bullet in my shoulder from going to get him.” I explained.

            Jack did as promised and kept his mouth shut about Ryan being in 636, and got the bullet out of my shoulder for me. Even though Jack kept his mouth shut, it was Gavin who blew Ryan’s cover. He was walking down the hallway and did a very Gavin like surprised squawk when he saw Ryan in my room. I was startled when Geoff grabbed me by the collar and shoved me against the wall.

“You son of a bitch, why’s he here?” He asked me.

“Because he’s on the run and couldn’t go back to his place, Geoff don’t make me fucking punch you!” I yelled. “Look, whether you like it or not, I’m always gonna be associated with Ryan in some way! Whether it be as a crew member or his fucking boyfriend!” I added, earning myself a fist to the nose.

“You decided where your loyalties were, Ray. And they were right here with us.” Geoff said. “Why are you changing them?” He asked.

Clenching my fists I waited before I answered. “I’m changing them because he deserves a second chance. He deserves a second chance at being a crew member and I deserve a second chance to love him.” I said, wiping the blood from my nose. “If you can’t understand that, then I don’t want to be part of this crew anymore.” I added, shoving him off me.

Without a second glance behind me, I walked out the door and didn’t turn back. I knew Ryan was following me because I heard him catch up to me. He grabbed me by the wrist and turned me around.

“Ray, stop.” He said.

I kept my face away so he wouldn’t see that tears of frustration were on my cheeks.

“Ray, look at me.” He said, turning my face to his, keeping his finger under my chin. “I understand you want me to have my second chance to be part of the crew, but Geoff won’t allow it, I switched my loyalties and I shouldn’t have. I understand why he’s doing it. You can’t really expect him to grant you what you want just because you feel like I deserve it.” He added.

“You don’t get it Ryan!” I yelled, the tears flowing faster down my face. “You really don’t fucking get it! I never wanted this! I never wanted you to be a traitor! I never wanted Geoff to be angry at you because of this! I never wanted to be heart broken in the first place! Hell, I never wanted to fall in love!” I admitted, crossing my arms. “But it happened, I fell in love with you and I knew better because every time I’d fallen in love before you, they all did the same thing, they broke my heart.” I said, turning my face to the floor.

            Lifting my chin once more, Ryan pressed his lips against mine for a long moment before he pulled back and spoke.

“Sometimes second chances are all that’s needed to set things straight.”