Stuck On You.

51.

Tiana POV

I wept as I felt pressure on my stomach.
"You're doing amazing Tiana, they are almost finished." The nurse coached as she held my hand looking over the curtain.
"My husbands going to hate me." I said behind the oxygen mask as I cried some more.
"You have to stay calm Tiana." The nurse said running my hand.
"Alright Tiana, he is small. But he is yours. So sorry for your loss." My doctor, Dr. Ellis says bringing the very small baby to view. Looking away I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see what I had caused.
"I'm going to stitch you up, and get you in the room for recovery." He said passing the baby to the nurse as he disappeared behind the curtain again.

I closed my eyes tightly trying not to think of his small face. But it clouded my memory. Before I knew it, I was being rolled to my room.
"Are you ready to eat?" My nurse asked me once she was finished setting up my IV.
"I'm not hungry. But I want to see him." I said lowly.
"You know you don't have to do this alone. Your family is right in the lobby." She said.
"No!" I yelled. "I want to see him alone." I cried and she nodded hurrying out of the room.

Shortly after she returned with Dr. Ellis, pushing the clear hospital crib. Tears rushed down my face. Sitting up I had some pain in my lower back but nothing compared to the pain I held in my heart.
My doctor and nurse stood closely by while I reached for him. He was so small, and still held a red color to him.
"He's so small." I said stroking his cheek with my finger.
"He weighed in at 1.3 pounds." Dr. Ellis spoke.
"Small but mighty. Titan." I said lowly.
"I like that name Tiana." My nurse spoke.
"What would you like me to tell your family?" Dr. Ellis asked.
"Tell them nothing." I said.
"I can't tell them that. That is a lawsuit. I have to tell them something." He said.
"Tell them whatever you want. But I don't want to see them." I said as I cried.
"Tiana---" He started.
"I said I don't want to see them." I yelled.
"Okay. I will do what I can."

It had been three days since I had been in this hospital and I had yet to see my family and friends. But today I had to face my demons because I was going home. I didn't know who all was here but I know I wanted to be alone.
"Alright Tiana. It's time." My nurse said wheeling in the wheelchair. Pulling my hood over my head, I nodded. She helped me out of the bed. I had pain in my stomach from the c section and pain in my back from the paddle. Moving slowly I finally sat in the wheelchair. She passed me my phone, and belongings as she wheeled me out.

Entering the lobby I was immediately approached by my family.
"How you holding up?" India asked.
"I'm ok." I spoke looking around. My eyes landed on Teya as she held Wynn to her chest.
"Where is he?" I asked her.
"Outside talking to Milo. How are you?" She asked.
"I'm okay." I said again.
"Let's get you discharged." India said. I wasn't able to focus on her conversation with the receptionist. As she wheeled me out.
Exiting out the hospital, I came face to face with them.

Both of them standing to their feet rushing to me. T'ziah kissed the top of my head. And Milo simply looked me over. Neither of them saying a word. Milo effortlessly picked me up and put me in the car.
"Where's Mila?" I asked.
"At home with Taelyn and Key." He said lowly closing the door.
The ride home was silent. I knew I needed to speak and explain but I couldn't.

Once we arrived he helped me back out the car, with our family closely behind entering the house.
"Oh my gosh Tiana. I'm so glad you're home." Taelyn said rushing to me hugging me, I groaned. "Sorry." She added.
"You should get downstairs and get some rest. We got everything up here." Teya said and everyone nodded.

Milo said nothing but he helped me down the stairs. Getting me in the bed he attempted to leave.
"You must be angry at me?" I asked him and he stopped.
"Nah." He chuckled facing me.
"Then what is it?" I asked as I cried. "Why won't you speak to me?"
"Speak to you? After you let us sit up there for three days with minimal updates and no visiting, you want to talk now?" He asked in disbelief.
"I had a lot to process. I wanted to do it alone. I'm sorry for making you worry about me." I apologized as I cried.
"I know you like the back of my hand Tiana." He said lowly looking at the ground as he shook his head. "And you lied to me!" He yelled causing me to jump. I shook my head.
"I didn't lie." I cried.

"Everything okay in here?" Taelyn asked entering the room with T'ziah and Teya right behind her.
"You know what Tiana? Paris was wrong for inflicting that kind of pain on you. And believe me, she gone get hers." He said looking at me with tears in his eyes. "But you, you ain't all that innocent either. Cus you still pursued pledging knowing you were pregnant! And you got our baby killed in the process, and you right you should have dealt with it alone cus you did that shit all on your own." He said and with that he turned and walked away.

My family looked at me with sad eyes. But he was right. I did this all on my own.