Periit1's L.I.L.U. Book

Theseus is Forced to Babysit Wolfgang

"Sorry, I have a clingy and feverish assassin on my lap. Unless you plan on picking him up, I'll have to call you back, Roofie." He ends the call before Euphoria could utter out another snarky retort. He puts his phone on mute, ignoring the plethora of messages the manifestation of Ecstasy is spamming him with.

If you were so fucking concerned, break into my fucking house and kidnap him already-

Theseus looked down upon the mutt clutching at his waist. He runs a hand through the crooked man's unruly mop, soothingly. The man leans into his touch wordlessly.

He was a wretched mess.

Not that the Mutt wasn't one on a regular basis... but today especially, he's gone beyond the realms of being pathetic and jumped straight into being the most pitiful worm he's ever had the misfortune- (ha.)- of seeing.

He grits his teeth.

Soulmates.

He has never heard a more asinine concept.

It's whimsical romance aside, the mere idea of a God becoming weak in the knees for their perceived cherished one was deplorable at best, and downright idiotic at worst.

Souls never remember their previous lives. Whether the Gods like it or not, their dearly beloved is already long lost. Maybe, they'll look the same. Maybe they'll even act the same.

But the identity, the ego, is long gone and there's no getting them back.

Theseus doesn't realize how tense he is until Wolfgang lets out a small groan when he pulls at his hair, a little too hard, during his ministrations. He kisses his hair (like Amara or Aries does whenever Theseus' body is aching too much from a fight for him to even think about moving-) in apology.

He'll allow the Mutt to take his comforts from him for now.

"Why are you helping me, kid." The man asked, tightening his hold on Theseus' middle.

Theseus is still not convinced the man won't Russian suplex him in some vain attempt to give him amnesia-

He pulls his hair in warning as the other man continues hiding his face in his stomach.

The mutt can turn into a dog, right? Maybe, he's planning to turn and tear his intestines out through his stomach with his canines-

"Make no mistake, Mutt." Theseus begins with a sickeningly sweet tone. "Just because I'm helping you, doesn't mean I suddenly care." In a swift motion (that Wolfgang could've prevented had he been coherent enough-) He pulled the other man up before pinning him with his legs, his fingers digging into the other man's neck (like a collar-). "I just didn't feel like cleaning up a corpse outside my door."

As if Theseus would've been the one cleaning up and definitely not the staff of the prestigious but ultimately sketchy and hush hush hotel, where they're currently holding up at-

Mortals... such incentive creatures.

Theseus leaned over to grab at the comforter that was lying at the other side of the couch before removing his hand and sliding off the other man.

He tucks him in and tells him to go the fuck to sleep.

"-before I'll knock you out and do it for you."